Dear Tee,

I’m sorry for the late reply but I did not have an easy access to my WiFi recently. The line got cut off due to the recent storms and we still need to wait for the better connectivity.

How you’ve been, Tee? Any improvements?

Meanwhile I found out a bit more about that counselling place you asked me about. They are known to some of the associations that I visited recently. And the first person I spoke to was a nurse and the other was a counselor. They each had an assessment with me and they had the same opinions of what I confined to them. Then at the end of my session I spoke to a group of people and they seemed to know about the problems of all other participans as well. I’m guessing that they prefer to do things their way. I remember one person saying that you need to be honest with yourself where you made any mistakes and should not sugarcoat it like at many other institutions. Well, in my case it caused me even more anxiety as I regreted that I did not do things differently. So I concluded that it might help some to move on but not all.

Regarding the dog, I’m really thankful for all your advice. I contacted a vet but she is not a behaviourist so couldn’t help too much. Unfortunately we do not have a big choice here.

Then I asked at the shelter and they gave me the number of a dog sitter & a trainer. They told me that he is not easy to train as he has aggressive tendencies and his anxiety is too big. I’ve tried to leave him with her gradually but she wasn’t happy to continue as she could not touch him and he snaped at her. I don’t see any solution here.

You’re right Tee, there are a few things that I like doing and need to do more often. I neglected it for a long time. I could say that I enjoy listening to the music, painting and travelling.

What do you like doing in your free time?

I also wanted to ask you for your opinion. I’m not sure if you believe in dreams and that they mean something but I keep having the same dreams for a long time now. I see my ex fiancé in them. I keep waking up with regrets that I gave up on him so easily.

I think I mentioned him to you once. In short, a few years ago, I was engaged with a man with 2 kids, and his situation was a bit complicated. His ex-wife divorced him, but it seemed that they still weren’t financially divorced. He told me that his house is for his kids and when he dies also for his ex-wife. And if we want something together, I need to buy something new with him. His family also interfered a lot, and he always asked their opinion. He was a bit controlling at times but that showed me that he cares about me. Despite all of that, we had a lot in common, had the same beliefs, hobbies, etc. I felt good in his company.

He visited some of my family, but it was not enough for him & he insisted to also see how my mother lives. But my mother refused his coming and he blamed me for that saying that I should convince her. Then we stopped seeing eachother as my mother did not change her mind. She thinks till today that he only cared about his kids and would never marry me anyway.

Was my mother right about not inviting him? Was he bad news but I didn’t see it? Why those dreams keep torturing me?

Thank you Tee for all your kindness & understanding that you offered till now. I would be completely lost without you 😊

Big hug 🫂 and lots of love dear 😘