Checking in with myself. How I am feeling?  stressed and utterly exhausted, disconnected from my body because of the amount of pain that I’m in. I’m trying to compartmentalise and focus on each individual task. It is really all I can do to prevent myself from getting carried away by anxiety. One day at a time, one proverbial foot in front of the other. Just keep swimming…

It is hard being a parent because the responsibility never stops. It doesn’t feel real sometimes. It is easy to lose yourself in the day to day taking care of the child. It is difficult to manage things.

He is a beautiful boy, determined, loving, kind and smart as a whip. He is also shy. It is something that I am trying to work on, bringing him out of his shell around strangers.

It is hard to not have time for your own feelings and to actively hide how you are feeling. It is hard not being able to take a break. I cannot imagine how single parents manage, and with multiple children.

Everything is about my son now. I am okay with that. My hopes and dreams being for him. Everything else pales in comparison. At the same time, it is hard going through all of these changes to myself. It does feel like I am fading away. I do need to set an example. I have to matter too. He’s going to look at how I treat myself as much as how I treat him.

I legitimately thought I would be dead by now growing up. Instead, I have a husband and a son. Life is nuts.