Hello,
I read your story and im really sorry about your situation,your hurt feelings:(

My opinion is that he has problems with himself,he is depressive and inconsistent.

My question: Why do you need him even as a friend? He is just hurting you and nothing else.

Please do not tread on yourself.Ruminant said well that Letting go comes naturally when the storm has passed…

I had a bad experience 3 months ago and believe me i was like you but i just understood that i cannot force someone to stay with me. I have my weak moments of course(yesterday for example didnt go to work because i had anxiety and headache) but when i think that i did my best and everything it makes me feel better and think that maybe he wasnt for me.

Please just try to be calm,go the therapist appointment and im sure you will be sober and with high-self esteem.

ps: read my topic here http://tinybuddha.com/topic/relationship-in-distance-how-can-i-get-my-ex-back-help/ It helped me a looooot and i hope that it will help you too
Regards
Albana