Not sure if anyone is still looking at this thread, but I just wanted to ask for some more advice. I just posted for my first time on here about my situation, but Drian–what you describe is exactly what I encountered in my relationship. The difference is that my boyfriend finally left me a week ago because of all the negativity I was bringing to his life. I am in therapy now but I can’t help but feel like I need to get him back somehow. I feel like I sabotaged my own relationship. Everything you said about your toxic thoughts/habits..they ruined my relationship and now I feel like I will never get it back. I hate that I put someone so wonderful and patient through such hell. Any words of advice?