Hello Nami,

I got a bit emotional reading your post, as I went through something similar and it was the catalyst for me for finally owning up to my mistakes and changing the course of my life. I know it hurts now, but you can use that hurt and willingness to heal to your benefit. I don’t think I would’ve sought help for myself and pushed myself forward without the motivation of wanting the man back I had lost due to my antics. I wanted to prove to him that I could heal. After a while it started to be about myself and now I am so thankful that everything happened. OK, I do regret hurting him, but the change that has happened in me and continues to happen has completely changed my life. I never would’ve gone through this transformation without him leaving me.

It will get better and then it will get worse. It will be painful and exhausting and terrifying. But if you continue with humility and willingness to shed the old habits and to allow love into your heart, it will all be worth it. You’ll heal and then you’ll heal some more and you will be tempted to think that you’re done with the work and will slip back to old habits. Then you continue again.

Things could’ve continued the same way for the rest of your life. You have been given a chance to change the course of your life. Grab it with both hands.