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SV:
I admire your courage to be vulnerable. It’s always painful to feel so exposed and vulnerable, and even more so to share our vulnerabilities with others. You are in a heart wrenching place and I want to honor that.
It’s hard to find hope between a rock and a hard place, especially when one feels depressed, confused, and uncertain. I noticed a lot of shame hidden within your words. Shame is a difficult one to feeling to work with as (at least for me), shame holds some deeply rooted messages in my mind; most of which tell me I’m not _____ enough or I’m not worthy of love or success.
It sounds like you need a lot of love, support, and a safe space to express your feelings; none of which it seems you are presently getting. Again I want to honor the fear and pain of your experience, and the courage it takes to express your vulnerability.
Lots of love…