Wow, how wonderful to see so many responses. Thank you all so much.

Paul: I read “Feel the Fear” many years ago, not too long after Jeffers first published it. I do remember it being a very helpful book at that time–possibly I need to find my old copy and dust it off.

I like your prayer, that is very helpful. Those are exactly the kinds of things I’m seeking.

Big Blue: I have definitely *not* put enough effort into new approaches yet. I do know most of these people pretty well, as I’ve worked with many of them for years. However, the one I have taken a dislike to, I have arduously avoided getting to know.

There is so much to work on here. I have pigeon-holed this person as a certain “type” that I find annoying . There are some bits of valid basis for that judgement, but not nearly enough for the reaction I’m having. It is strange, but in times away from the group, I sometimes feel a softening toward her. But when I enter the meeting and hear her chatter, it all goes away and I just want to be as far away from her as possible. Humor is something I would ordinarily use–but I am so humorless at these moments that I can’t envision where I would pull it from.

Ruminant: You have hit the bullseye. I recognize that this is deeply tied to my ego and identity. We’re talking 30 years of identity and friendships here. Releasing my attachment to that identity and these relationships feels like floating in space all alone. Logically, I know my life won’t end. But my emotional mind doesn’t see it that way, and it is something I have to put serious work into.

Matt: Again, many more helpful thoughts. I will look for the Salzburg metta meditation. These are the kind of concrete actions that I find very useful.

Thank you all again.