Jen,

Its very natural to be left breathless when we give gifts that aren’t acknowledged, but that actually comes from your side, your wanting to be important to him right now. He has lots of stuff on his plate, perhaps consider re-reading the previous advice (I think you missed some pieces, or the words didn’t come across) 🙂

From a different angle, consider how he is caught in some painful emotions, and while your gift was kind, your wish to have him respond favorably to you is unkind, selfish, wanting him to be in a place he isn’t. When I was speaking of postcards, I meant more like a postcard with no return address, like a text sent to him without the need for him to return it. Not a text like a hook, or a present with “oh god, I hope he likes the present and comes and showers me with love and affection and kisses”. This is why self nurturing is so important, because otherwise his lack of reciprocity inspires anger and distance in you as you wish and hope and plan and try to get him to reach back. Said differently, a present isn’t a present if it has a hook in it. When that’s the case, its just fishing. He needs space, and perhaps presents, but not hooks. 🙂

Self care helps us find stable ground so we can stop looking for others to reply in the way we want, giving us the space to accept the way they do. Said differently, I know you’re hurting, sister, and would love to be comforted by your loved one. He’s not available (and consider your pushing helped create the space between you two) and so rather than becoming depressed, desperate, grabbing, perhaps comfort yourself, turn away from the situation, and be kind to yourself. You have the strength, sister, I know it. But you have to try, take the steps. 🙂 Accepting he may never want to be with you again, or he may heal and find you in his heart. Its a mystery you have to live with, because if you try to solve it right now, it will resolve unfavorably (90% of the time).

Your obsession about when/how long before contact is understandable, but its not as important as you think. Rather, what is in your heart and mind when you contact him is the important bit. Laughing, happy, sharing? Or needy, demanding, angry? The former is attractive, the latter is repulsive. Said differently, if you have some other interests, consider tending those, doing other things. Him and what’s happening on his side is not a good hobby for you. So, what else do you like to do? Do you meditate? Yoga? Swim? Hang glide? Sew? There’s a lot more to Jen than just her boyfriend, ya know? Do that.

With warmth,
Matt