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Reply To: Curious to find out where I stand but not too stressed about it

HomeForumsRelationshipsCurious to find out where I stand but not too stressed about itReply To: Curious to find out where I stand but not too stressed about it

#64882
Matt
Participant

Steve,

It seems to me a lot of analyzing and guessing and aiming are being done just from her “I see”. Consider staying with the mystery next time, instead of trying to catch it, respond to the potential meanings you see on her side. Such as “oh, what do you see?”, or “how do you feel about it?”… just staying curious. The feeling of insecurity is normal, but try to remember you don’t own what she’s thinking, all you ever really own is your side. Such as: Its enough that you know you’d love her to meet your kids when the time is right.

If you feel fear she might not know that, just breathe, its OK, let it go, what she thinks is her business. Its moving slowly, which means hopefully she wouldn’t run a million places with your words, and if she does, she can bring them up. Otherwise, its like we get stuck running around a house repairing issues that we don’t even know are issues, wasting energy. Said differently, perhaps put down the Mr. Fix-it, and relax. Just be open. 🙂 That’s what gives us the stability to respond with our side if/when she is feeling oddly and indicates it.

Glad to hear you’re exploring more. Great work! Keep it up! 🙂

With warmth,
Matt