I completely understand where you’re coming from. At the age of 35 I have recently realized that I am not the “depressed girl” that everyone labeled me as. It has been truly liberating to realize that truth. I am seeing a therapist who helps immensely. I would recommend you do the same. I have submerged myself in tiny Buddha articles. They really help! I know that I cannot change overnight and neither can you. However, taking baby steps is better than taking no steps. Be patient with yourself. Journal, yoga, make a bucket list of things you want to do just for you. All of these action items will help…just have faith. Good luck!