hi Vhanon,

Best thing abt my love was i always accepted for what i was, i felt respect and diginity, Problem we faced was our social religious difference which mattered a lot to his family, he couldnt convience and his resposbility of getting elder sibiling settled down in life became his top priority, at this point of time we mutually agreed to move on… he saw no future of our relation, as he was not sure when his sister will get settled. he was 7 years elder to me …he was on right age to get married so was i, i was 26 by then…. best thing i liked abt him was i was pampered , i was special, i was beautiful in his eyes……… I never reposnded to any advances from anyone other than him…many approached me but i was only happy and receprocated to my first love…. all of sudden this changed after we broke… . my beauty started fading, i always looked dull, tired, not younger anymore.. no one complemented me anymore…….. This point of time i wanted my love back and soon started looking out for some one to bridge this gap , went ahead with marriage proposals in my community…. i met my present husband we spoke for an hour.. we is more qualified then me, he and his family was well settled…. i thought he meets my expectations as he seems to be ethical, genuine person so i said yes. later when we met i ignored his wired behavior, he would get angry for small things …. which did not raise my flags as i was in hurry to get settled. finally we got married…..
day to day things changed between us,, he is been demanding, he wants exceptional performance in everything…. so does his parents….. lot of interference from his parents ……… right from what to eat, to how to get settled……. i was always confornted for not meeting demands………I was terned not good cook, time incensitive, lazy.. careless…….irresponsible….i started chanllenging myself to be best to get all of these and be loved by the family….started working hard……meeting most of these yet i was not accepted. i was different entity while his family and himself formed a different entity. his priorities of having best in life continued….. he works very hard to get them……… slowly i started revolting back and wanted to yell and say to everybody that i was capable… this turned to be fight always….. he stops speaking to me when we fight, he does not communicate his agreement to any of my decisions or discussions….. my reptitive actions have become nagging…… while all this was going on at my will I gave birth to my son….all this become more after my sons birth……. I took my career more seriously this point of time to keep up with my finacial independence…. he depends on me to meet our financial goals for future, we have been quite successful…… i have good job then his …..we keep being pratical for buiding our future and i lack the love and care….
My ex is still good friend of mine…. met him couple of times and felt the warmth again… we both are clear that we have moved so far that we cannot meet again… he is getting married in next 3 months….. this is hurting me still…….

I feel i am in wrong place…..this stress to keep up with present family is growing….
I want to tell them i am capable …… i am respectable………..i having feelings.
This is all about my past n persent…….

• This reply was modified 10 years, 1 month ago by chil.