Hi Vhanon,

I will try to give you a short version of this, so i won’t bore you to death.
When we broke up, more than 2 months ago, a huge fight happened. I treated her with indiference. She said that she still love me, that her feelings hadn’t chenge at all and her decision was very hard. I waited 3 weeks to look for her again. I told her how different i always, said i was sorry for everything i done and that if she decided to get back, things would be much better, because i wasn’t blind by my own truth anymore. She said “I don’t love you anymore, i don’t feel anything for you for a longe time before the brake up, and you will never change”. I took the blow and left, decided to move on.

Less than two weeks later, i ran into her in a partie, where she told our mutual friends that she had said those things to keep me away, but she missed me a lot, loved me still and was suffering too much. We started talking again and she admited those things to my face. I pointed out that it was to clear how badly she wanted to kiss me, always saying in each encounter that i was very happy with my new life, not to rub it in her face, but because i think women want happy men around them, not clingy and needy ones, like i was the next day after the break up. She said “i don’t know what i want”. That was almost three weeks ago, and we stopped talking about us. Sometimes she looks for me to talk about silly things….we treat eachother like friends, and i think that in the other end, she may have this image of me as the most cool guy after a break up, in the hole world. And she seems that way too.

So she is always changing her mind about how she feels, but not about the break up, even tough we don’t talk about it. Sometimes i just think about kissing her outta nowhere, just to see her reaction. I mean, it is possible that she said, not even two weekes ago “you were the only guy i ever was crazy about. I miss the tenderness we had, the sex…” like i wrote before, just as a friend? Well, it is i guess….. but if i am missing her like this, despite all the good things in my life…..so could she?

I should just let her live her life. I mean, i’m not being like her old ex. I’m not calling and sending text messages saying how much i miss her. But i feel like she feels for me the same pitty she felt for me.

The problem is that i feel very alone now, without being atractted by anyone. The “problem” with her, is that while we were together, i knew i was happy, that i love her, and that i would fight for us during our entire lives. I remember thinking “she is just my kind of a woman”. I know i’ll find other and probably even better ones. But there is this feeling that keeps coming back “the longer i wait, farther away she gets”. Sorry, does anything make sense?

I should give up, right? When things are done, they are done, correct? There is never another chance when a relationship trully breaks, right?