Thanks Tiny Butterfly..I appreciate your concern and suggestions..

I’m an avid reader and a compulsive journal writer. I haven’t had many people in my life to share my heart with, my diary has been my best friend since I was a child. I’m so frustrated that I threw away most of my journals just because they reminded me of how I have missed this guy everyday day for 8 years. I had everything in black & white with me, things we shared things we talked about and things he told me. I love him so much that there’s no measure. But, I get stuck on a few things and then down spiral into this really dark place where nothing seems right. I met him at a time in my life when I had lost the one person I still love the most and that’s my grandfather. He was my best friend, and my only support, when I lost him I lost a big part of myself. But, when I met this guy I trusted him so much that when he left for that other girl my faith in love was shattered. Since then I have changed so much, I find trusting people so difficult, and apart from all the love I have for him to an extent that I married him recently, I find it difficult to trust him when he tells me that he never loved her and instead loved me but couldn’t face me because of his screwed up situation.