I already said I understand that that was wrong and delusional. I’m not going to church for that reason anymore, I honestly enjoy the community and it’s nice to see other worldviews. At the very least, it’s a good reason to get up early on a Sunday.

“I just can’t find a balance between being a good, kind person (which is something I want) with being driven and successful (also something I want). I feel like I’m living a paradox but I can’t let go of either side because it all makes up who I am. I can’t see myself as wise and loving but also ambitious, because that seems hypocritical. I know I can be ambitious and successful without being a bad person, but when I succeed (get a promotion, go on a date, obtain power of any sort) pride creeps in, and I lose my compassion.”

The last part of the post is what I’m struggling with, the first part was just for background. I apologize for any confusion.