Courtney and Kate
I think when we fall in love and get married with someone we automatically expect that the words *till death do us part* have meaning. After all, you fell in love with him for many reasons, and probably the most important was that you knew deep in your soul, each of you would be there for each other no matter what. Once or maybe twice in a lifetime we get lucky enough to find someone like this but when we realize we may have been wrong about them, it not only hurts because your losing all your hopes and dreams but maybe just as difficult to cope with is feeling like your soul was fooled, the part of you which lights up inside of you. This leaves you second guessing every intuition, feeling, or belief you have now, or in the past.
Till death do us part means something different to some people. Maybe it should be changed to ” till death, or something I can’t handle because it is too hard, do us part.
He loves you, but he loves himself more. This is the way it should be. We have to love ourselves more than anyone else, this is what enables us to have the capacity to give everything to our husband/ wife, when they get sick mentally or physically, when they need us the most.
I’ve been through this. I stayed until death do us part, and in 2007 she left this world. I feel like it’s what everyone is suppose to do, I’m not special or deserve a medal of courage, it’s just what we do as human beings.
Everything does happen for a reason, I firmly believe that. Your reason will appear soon enough. You deserve happiness, real happiness but sometimes you gotta shovel the shit out of the way to actually see it. Trust in yourself. RJ