Hey Caroline!

I am 22, I graduated last year from college and experienced really similar feelings as you’ve described. I felt really overwhelmed with all the uncertainty I was facing, especially after having lived a very structured lifestyle in terms of academics and athletics. I chose to wait to apply to grad school because I want to explore a life without structure, and just freestyle my life!

I can really relate to what you said about feeling very alone. A year later, I don’t have life “figured out” by any means, but what I have learned is that it truly is so important to be kind to yourself and be patient with the process. A friend once said to me: “you are so kind to me, why don’t you try treating yourself like you treat me?” Do you treat yourself how you treat your friends? Why should you be any less patient or understanding with yourself? If your friend or sister/brother/cousin were going through this struggle, what would you tell them to do?

Sometimes I wonder, too, if when I’m 45 I’ll look back on this time and miss the days when I was anxious about graduating and figuring out what to do next. Sometimes I look back on college and say “man I wish I would’ve just relaxed a little!” and I think I’ll probably say that about this time in my life one day too.

You’re right – this time in life is SO uncomfortable. And anxiety and fear is very real and can be so debilitating. What helps me sometimes is to think of it as growing pains. Growing up hurts and is uncomfortable, but often the most uncomfortable times are when we learn the most. Sometimes a situation feels like the worst thing in the world but when it’s over you realize it’s value and all of a sudden it becomes something positive.

The fact that you are seeking answers shows that you are strong and wise. Much stronger and wiser than you know. Ben said it well, you ARE waking up! And waking up is painful but to be aware is the greatest skill we are capable of having.

Breathe through this time and trust the process. You are loved!!

xx
Rose