I’m very glad that you’ve noticed the cold spreading within you, and want to do something to stop it.

You know, living in the city can be stressful, even without the rejections you talk about. Combined, it seems you’ve drifted into a bit of a funk, a kind of – “Well, who cares about you, anyway!” This is a natural response, but it seems it was the start of an ongoing slide, where you applied that same “Well, who cares about you!” to more and more people, and more and more situations, growing colder and colder within yourself.

You can reverse that sad, bitter spiral simply by doing the opposite. Instead of “Who cares about you!” try to think, “I hope you feel good today. I hope you’re enjoying the sunshine. I hope you’re not walking slowly because you’re in pain. I hope your screaming children will grow up into good people and you’ll be proud of them someday.” It’s a tough exercise, but it can make such a difference. Learn to care by practicing. Just care! Send a little mental note of well-wishing to people, people you know, people you don’t know, people you don’t even like.

If you’re interested in learning more about this method, look up metta meditation. It’s a Buddhist practice that can do a lot of good. I really hope it helps, and that your heart can thaw a little as you pay attention to it. The more love you give, the more you are capable of giving. The more you withhold it, the less you’ll have. And that’s going to hurt you.

All my best wishes to you.