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Hi Moongal,
First, thank you for your thoughtful reply. I really appreciate it.
I do feel like I have made a lot of progress – it’s been thrilling and sometimes scary but I am thankful to it. I think you are right regarding bitterness. People who are bitter mistake it as a wisdom and a strength when in reality it is just evidence that they can’t handle reality on reality’s terms and must protect themselves.
I guess that I don’t feel like I am closing myself off but instead that I have just let the the feelings decay. I don’t rule it out, but I guess I feel like I completely ignore it now. There isn’t any kind of longing, loneliness, or sadness for the most part and I guess that’s what concerns me. It’s a very “meh” feeling.
Still, I suppose that a big mistake is assuming something is certain forever. With everything that has changed with me in the past five years I can’t imagine what is going to change in the next five.
Thanks again Moongal!