Hi! I joined the forum just to reply to you also. Two years ago I was in the exact same position. I was still recovering from an abortion (seems like a lifelong process) and found out that I was pregnant. I know how scary it feels. You feel like your life will be worse no matter what your decision is. The prospect of motherhood was never appealing to me and I was focusing on my career.

I felt really resentful towards my S/O about the previous abortion and didn’t want to have another one because it is so hard to go through, psychologically. I made the choice I felt was most true to myself and I ended up having my son last year. I can’t say it’s easy, or that it hasn’t changed my relationship, but I cannot imagine my life without him. (I’m not telling you this to influence your decision.)

I just wanted to give you a virtual hug and tell you that I completely understand what you are going through. Please do what your intuition tells you to do, not what will please your boyfriend. Hugs!