I’m sorry you’re going through this. For whatever reason, she wasn’t able to open into relationship with you – whether she was too afraid, or had other priorities that were more important to her. Asperger’s certainly could be part of it. I broke up with a boyfriend recently because he didn’t want the same things out of a relationship, and he still says he doesn’t understand what I mean. I’ve explained over and over and he either doesn’t want to hear it or can’t due to his own baggage. But I’m devastated, too, and I love him very much.

Her ambivalence (running hot and cold) is not because there’s something ‘wrong’ with you; it’s her own stuff that she needs to work through in order to be open enough to be in a true relationship. Try not to take it personally.

I wouldn’t count on being together in a couple of years, though anything can happen. See it as a permanent breakup. Heal. Move on. Take a break from contact. And decide what you really want in a partnership. It will probably be some time before you want to date again, but when you do, remember to look for and take seriously red flags like someone having trouble functioning well in other aspects of their life (i.e. hoarding).

And remember that you’re chemically bonded to each other, so what feels like ‘spiritual partnership’ may simply be the chemicals that make you crave each other. I know it’s hard but try not to make it mean more than that right now. I know how it feels to want someone to be your soul mate or spiritual partner-from-another-plane. But that may make it harder to walk away.

Sending you both lots of love and healing!