Hi Anita,

I just (quote) replied, but I think it got lost somehow, so I’ll just re-iterate it here in a normal reply.

Thank you for taking the time to read through my story and for disclosing some of your own story too. It’s appreciated.

It’s true that I’ve found an equilibrium where the conflict in my life has been reduced and that is generally working for me. The specific problem that I have is that my current solution is unsustainable due to financial constraints.

Ultimately, I’m going to either need to get on top of my problems with conflict or my problems with motivation, because the first one means I don’t want to work for other people, even though I’ve always been very effective when working for other people in the past, and the second one, which is my preferred thing to solve means that I’m not nearly as effective when working for myself.

I guess I included as much as my story as possible in the hope that something would stick out as to why motivating myself has always been something I’ve struggled with, though of course, it’s possible that I’ve been looking at this wrong, as Matt’s reply did strike a chord with me.

In truth it’s hard to know how to proceed, as I don’t really understand why I behave the way I do with relation to work and why I have trouble achieving things when I’m the sole beneficiary…

Kaz