Dear Jim/Jamie:
I wrote and wrote to you and then deleted, i was getting nowhere. I feel discouraged this evening, slept poorly last night and feeling anxious about sleeping tonight. I feel stuck somewhat. I’ve done a lot of healing and there is still much to do, to live mindfully every moment, almost. To notice the agitations of my mind and quiet them again and again instead of engaging in distressing thinking on top of those agitations. Practice, practice, practice.

About our age, isn’t it interesting how the young people on this forum (hello, young people, if you are reading) have so much distress just like i had when i was young. So much waste, so much pain, distress, disatisfaction in all ages. Here I am not getting anywhere again in my second post to you. I am glad I gave you some hope… You wrote about living timidly. I lived subjugating myself to others and if I could only change that- the humiliation of having put myself in the mercy of others without believing i even had the right to say NO or LEAVE or have self interest or exercise self protection. My mother so subjugated me that I entered the adult world so very handicapped. I can’t believe myh life really did happen to me… And i was blind all these years. I am learning now to SEE. to SEE more of what is out there.

I like it that you wrote that we connected. I still want to connect. i still want to be liked. I am at 54 still the little girl I always was- isn’t it amazing… I am still that little girl.
anita