Dear tired Sweet:
Sometimes it is a good thing to give up. He doesn’t “sound” to me from your writings like a bad person. He ‘sounds” quite sensitive to you and caring about what you think and feel, wanting to please you and get along and at the same time not wanting to feel that you control his life. I don’t know him of course: I am reading your writings, not his. So you have way more information to process.

When you wrote that he asked you if you okaying his purchases in the store is the “silence before the storm” it makes me think I was correct about a pattern you may be in- going along as calmly as you can, using your will power to avoid fights- until you explode (the “storm”?)

In which case you have something to work on…I was a person in this pattern, in this very pattern and almost got divorced from my husband. Through therapy that we had together and individually, I learned- over time- a few things of which I wrote you about. If you are in this pattern, examine the pattern, how it operates, how you operate, how you explode and what leads to the explosions…?

I will share with you more on my experience with this pattern of behavior but i need to know if you agree with my assessment that you are engaged in such pattern and if you describe it for me…

Take care:
anita