It has to be. He’s in NZ. I’m in England. What else can be done? If he asked me to move there I’d say yes but if he asked me to marry him I’d have to say no because reality is…. I don’t love him. I love what he represents to me .

(I’ve if my faults is I can neither give nor receive love as I don’t ever believe it’s true o always assume they love what I represent to them and vice versa)

Besides… now he’s away and we can only communicate through fb and the very occasional Skype, man… its easy to take a trip on your love for them but feelings are not facts.

He’s not the one.

But them again, I’m 38, no kids never married because no one is ever the one to me. Too cynical.

Anc another besides: when we lived in the sane town we were in love. Now he’s away… I feel like a nothing to him. I know that’s not true as I’m getting the impression he’s excited about my visit and his mum is quite taken wirh me but self preservation must prevail. Barriers up. Moving on.