Thanks, Inky. I found a book online written by a psychotherapist who herself was a strong Christian until her 30s…she has called it Religious Trauma Syndrome. The problem is, I read things online or listen to things by speakers such as Abraham Hicks or Byron Katie and then I begin thinking well all I need to do is choose positive thoughts…then that leads to guilt and even more despair. I got offered anti-depressants a few months back but have resisted taking them.
I feel like I am holding things together by a thread. I feel such shame, I have so many surface reasons to feel happy, but inside is deep emptiness and anger that I can’t ‘fix things’…