Dear Glenda,

Thanks for sharing your story.

Since you have been with your partner for 10 years, I was wondering if you have brought up the subject of having children with him? Once you open up your ideas with him, perhaps something can be worked out slowly. Is your partner willing to have children? Can you find out from friends who have children how much it truly costs (diapers, food, everything) every month to get by? Once you have children, can he take on a side job?

It can hurt when others make fun of our significant other (my partner is a musician with unsteady income….so I attract a lot of comments too). We have to re-assess then what is the purpose of a relationship? How much do I love my partner? You mentioned that you are like soulmates….is it really worth giving up a soulmate over money? In marriage vows, we say “for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health”. Whether we are married or not, once we are in a steady relationship…we can ask ourselves…can we live up to this?

Your mom’s comments may cause guilt…usually moms just what their daughters to live a happy life. Perhaps you can tell her what sweet things your partner has done for you that money cannot buy, e.g. he has made a wonderful meal for me tonight or he makes me laugh all the time. If your partner is very nice, treats you well, makes you laugh…practically soulmates…that is one in a million chance to encounter this person! How lucky you are! Other people’s feelings are other people’s thoughts & they are temporary. Assess truly how you feel.

Take good care!
Jennifer