Dear boykismet:

A side note, sure you considered it, that is gaining weight by consuming protein, as do those wanting more muscle weight, drinking those high protein, high fat powder mixes? Gaining weight not by eating carbs?

Main note:

Your story, a story of a young child, living in a loveless home, with a father and a mother neither giving you the love you needed, the love any and every child needs. A child hungry for love, sexualized at a young age, and then exposed to the notorious sex clubs, meth to top the train heading for a wreck.

To Love and Be Loved- that primary, persistent need we all have. Any thing will do in the absence of love, anything will be taken on as a substitute, as an attempt to get what the world is so short of, love.

To feel whole, go back to that child that you were, go there with your mind. That child is you. Still needs the same thing. Focus your …spiritual practice on loving yourself completely, no reservations. Do all you can for your health and for the health of others as far as not infecting others with your HIV.

Stay away from people and places where it is not LOVE that is there for you. Accept nothing short of love.

Love does not make you sick (HIV), it does not tear your body, damage it. Love is not in those clubs and it is not in that meth…unsexualize yourself; love yourself.

And do post again, anytime.

anita