Laia, I completely understand what you are going through. My fiancé blows up about small things out of nowhere and then when I try to defend myself or talk to him about it he shuts down and stops talking to me… we live together and he will completely ignore me when I say something to him. He looks straight ahead like I am not even in the room. It is so hurtful and stressful for me. When I ask him about it he says that he feels “low” and can’t look at me because I have yelled at him and made him feel bad. I have only raised my voice with him a few times, and it is usually when he starts to accuse me of doing things that I haven’t done, or when we are in the middle of talking about something and he shuts down. I know I shouldn’t raise my voice, but it is difficult to control when I feel like I am being attacked. I talked to him last night about going to a counsellor together to figure out how to communicate better so we don’t have days where we don’t talk to each other… I am always willing to talk to him, but I thought he would be more open to getting some help if I approached it as a problem that both of us need to deal with, since he says I cause him to be like that. He refused to go to counselling, and he barely spoke to me the rest of the night. He slept in the guest room and then left for work this morning without even telling me – and I was supposed to give him a ride. I am at a loss. I truly believe he is a good person and this shutting down/silent treatment is mostly a coping mechanism that he has learned. I think he also uses it to punish me when he feels that I have accused him of something. I could really use some help and suggestions about what to do to help us… Other than the instances of this silent treatment/mood swings/shutting down we are happy together and I think we could get past it if he is willing to get some help.