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Oh anita! ***hugs***
As we each have discussed to other people ~ some people should NOT be parents!!
I hope this idea helps: We expect love from parents because… WE’VE EXPERIENCED IT BEFORE!! Whether in many past lives, or in our DNA, we remember/”remember” feeling LOVED! We don’t miss what we’ve never experienced!!
The pain of your mother not being the mother she should be, or my pain of my father not being the father he should be ~ what we REALLY want is the love of the Archetypal Father, or the Great Mother. Of course, no one in physical form can be the Higher/Ideal/God/dess like Parent! We all fall short.
Maybe one day or one lifetime, on a spiritual level, your mother can visit you and communicate, “My dear, sweet child. I am so, so sorry I did that to you. That SHOULD NOT have happened to you! I love you and one day/lifetime, in some way, I will TRY to make it up to you!!”
You can have a Ritual where she says/”says” that. You can do things for yourself that a Mother SHOULD do for you! Make a list of things you can be, do and have if you were a child. Have your TRUE Mother give/”give” it to you.
May you have the best dream or a very real vision where you get healing.
Blessings,
Inky