Dear Libellula:

The ideal in your quest for authenticity would be to have no contact with this woman and with the other women who gravitate toward her, sharing her values and sentiment. For you to be authentic would be to have nothing to do with them at all. Anything else compromises your authenticity, so I see your concern as valid. Some fraud is an issue, some lack of authenticity is indeed happening in your life and is a problem.

In your current predicament, then, you are trying to make things better by pleasing her or taking the responsibility for things not being well. Just like a child/ a little girl does, taking the fault for why the parents don’t love her. A child becomes inauthentic as a result of HAVING TO live with and be in the ongoing company of a rejecting parent. This woman rejects you, disapproves of you, is irked by you and you want to fix it.

I would further minimize being in that woman’s company, be minimally civil, spend not an extra moment with her, none! Be careful to not even smile to her when it is not authentic. While in her company, be authentic, make sure you are not doing anything at all, smile or word or gesture, aimed at making her approve of you, changing anything about her attitude.

anita