Dear Max:

I am utterly impressed and amazed by the healthy mind that posted the above (and before, I noticed the grieving process was progressing healthily)- so utterly amazed. Not that I expect your thinking to always be as clear and realistic as this (this here is top!) – but I can see that you are evolving so well, on the right path. I just sensed an excitement in me thinking about what this means to your future, your life, my goodness: it can progress so very well as you continue walking on the path you are on.

As I read your post above, at the point where you wrote that she said that the ball is in your court, at that point it was as clear as can be that she did not come to you with confidence. This sentence of her clearly indicates that she is not getting it, that she is not getting that the ball is in HER court, not yours. She is not getting that she needs to do some serious, heavy duty work. She is not getting that it is not going to work: her relaxing, or passively waiting for you to make the next move. She needs to be active, not passive, work, initiate, move things… not wait for you to… go back to square one, as you put it.

And after I read that ball-in-your-court line, I continued to read how you evaluated the situation just as I did and the fact that you have, being the one in the situation, make … me very confident about my evaluation of it. Excellent job, says I!

anita