Dear Gilliam:

It is understandable why you don’t feel love for your wife. You sound reasonable: you told your wife that she is hurting you and her relationship with her “soul crushing resentment” (You are a poet!)

You believe that she is a good mother and you see to it that there are no “big fights or arguments”

To clarify, if you will, and I am asking because I hope to be of some help to you,

What makes you believe that your wife is a good mother: what is she doing that is good mothering?

Also, when you wrote that you don’t have BIG fights or arguments, what kind of LITTLE fights and arguments do you have? Are the children witnesses to those little fights and arguments? When your wife is passive aggressive toward you, is it possible they notice that?

And is your wife passive aggressive with anyone else? With the children?

anita