I have brought up the lack of touching/kissing/oral/sex to him and he responds and says we are different people. He doesn’t, in my opinion, want to make me happy sexually. Therefore yes I have stepped out on our marriage. I know that I used to be content with it but my contentment and looking forward to the rest of my life, I don’t think I can be content. Am I afraid, hell yes. My family adores him, and always say talk, talk, talk to him. I do. He doesn’t talk back. I also feel like his drinking is his way of saying he is unhappy but he has been a drinker his whole life and he says it’s not me and that’s he’s not unhappy with us or me. I am going to counseling. I am doing what I can to try and take care of my part of the issue. I also know that I need to stop cheating on him. I miss feeling wanted, hence then feeling like a piece of shit afterwards because I feel used. I have to stop because mentally I can’t handle the feelings afterwards, even if I get them for a moment. It sucks emotionally.
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 