@Dina — Re: How else do you deal with the wiring so it doesnt drive you completely insane?

I spend a lot of time investigating why I’m wired to be more unsatisfied than the typical human. I haven’t found a single, straightforward solution — maybe someone out there has some secret?

At the core of my particular situation, I think my faulty wiring centers around an unconscious belief that I have little-to-no value/worth. My brain seems to believe that, at any moment, the people in my life will see how worthless I am — and they’ll leave me to fend for myself.

Additionally, it’s pretty clear that I have a strong belief that intimate relationships will hurt my ability to survive — this is evidenced by my incredibly strong reactions to normal intimate situations.

In the past, these beliefs combined me to be a workaholic, which I justified in all the typical ways. But I can see now that the workaholic strategy will never really achieve the happiness/joy I’m hoping to achieve.

Current things that seem to be helping me:
1. Mindfulness throughout my day (I take about an hour total throughout the day for breathing/checking-in with myself)
2. Talk therapy (it’s expensive, but I can easily point to the dividends it has returned my career, relationships, and happiness/joy)
3. Goal-based decision-making (mainly just trying to stop letting my train of thoughts dictate my actions, because those mindlessly-made actions seem to be what keeps me in my anxious/unsatisfied state)

I suppose, that also, after writing this (and reading your suggestion about talking), I might find some value in talking with the people in my life about the worthlessness that I feel — maybe asking them if they actually think I am worthless.

What about you?

• This reply was modified 8 years, 10 months ago by Ryan.