anita –

my home life is nothing too extravagant and nothing too horrific. everyone just keeps to themselves and there’s barely communication. i guess i don’t mind that part too much anymore because i’m kinda at the point where i just want to find myself and i think disconnecting from my family a bit would help. but i don’t have any friends so i barely have any communication at all. i honestly end up talking to either myself or the tv (habits i’m really trying to break). it’s pretty hard to talk to anyone without being dismissed or ignored. anyone in general.

my mother, i guess she’s supportive. sometimes i feel like i HAVE to go to school so i’m being put through it. we don’t get out the house much, but if we do, sometimes i’ll go food shopping with her.

i’m really just afraid of failing at life. i think i mentioned a bit about it before but i don’t remember. but i’m really afraid of not being able to support myself and i’m afraid of not being able to live the life i want or at least a stable life. i’m afraid that i’ll end up becoming nothing at all. i really don’t know where my life is headed and i have very little influence at the moment. no friends, so no one to bring any new ideas. i’m kinda just stuck in my own thought space. i sorta appreciate the time alone because it could be spent learning something new or reading, but usually all i end up doing is worrying and wasting time.