Well we both had conflicting schedules. She took up two jobs and school and we couldn’t find the time. Even though we tried. But this new guy has more time than me. I accept the break up just not the post break up. Even when she told me she wasn’t going to date for a while.

It hurts so much. I’ve been trying to do things and go out. Focusing on school more and started to work out somewhat. Some days are better than others but today instead of being happy of my no contact milestone, I broke down and cried in my car at school.

It’s paralyzing really, because usually I’m a happy guy with more optimism than anyone. But right now I’m in a complete different state of mind.

I would be lying if I said I didn’t want her back. She was my first love and I loved the relationship we built. I’m scared I won’t love or be loved like that again.