40 years ago he did not approach, as he was told he mentally destroyed me (?) and there was a restraining order against him forged with my signature from my mother. He truly felt somehow he hurt me and never saw me, except at the divorce table. I didnt look up at the time, because I WAS hurt, feeling he didnt care, when he really did, but was restrained upon advice from his lawyer. My mother was there to make sure I was whisked away before any interactions. I did live with Mom so followed her blindly, since she was paying my tuition so I would finish school. His lawyer warned him that he would be arrested if he tried to find me to talk to me in the hall or anywhere.

NOW: He says he denied over and over to his family of any connections more than a dinner together while in town. The wife knew of me and the whole scenario from his divorce from me 40 years ago. Interestingly, I did not know the half of it….
She became very angry and worked with her sons to leave the home, and leave him there with the sons. The sons are the only ones speaking to the wife and there is no communication and R-1 doesn’t know where she is living. The sons did call me a few times a year or so ago, and threatened, and R-1 did nothing, because he was not supposed to know of the communication. If he said something, they would know we were talking…..
It seems he was trying to take the brunt of the storm and make sure they left me alone. He said as much, when I mentioned this to him. It seems sensible, he knew I could not disrupt my life or was ready 18 mo9nths to a year ago.
He remains in the marital home since it hasnt sold as yet. (Proceeds to be split). My concern is that if she finds about us, she will go back to court and demand total proceeds and more. His sons are there and go through his stuff, and watch him as well as monitor calls and emails. One is an IT background so he was able to discover deleted history, knows my email of work and home, and between them could make so more calls and blow up anything anytime, but we have not done anything but communicated at work phone numbers. I will be meeting him in April and this could be the Big Blow…. He remains calm and meek, so that until the whole thing is finalized, they will not explode and make life miserable for me and make him pay dearly. He says he will defy the situation, if I ask, and is prepared to stand with me to fight the coming storms.
His meekness does hurt me sometimes, and I get mad at the situation with his sons, but he reminds me that he is only doing it for me and not to have me hurt financially or emotionally from R-2. It sounds logical, but sometimes I worry if the sons will be an issue after this is all settled. I fear they will be jealous and angry and will try to interfere.I will not marry or live with him, until I am sure he is no longer bull-dozed by his family. He wants to marry me once I am single, but this will need to be played out before I would commit again. I do love and cherish his sweet ways, but realize there are very few knights in shining armor. A woman has to be strong these days and I am overcoming the fears I have had my whole life, about serving others and not hurting others even though dying inside. (Francesca?)