Dear Cody92:

You listed a “shortened list of things” you hate about yourself. Even if I attacked the list you provided, there is a lengthier list you have. Keeping this in mind, I am looking at your shortened list: Face (lazy eye included and messy hair), 50 pounds too many (belly fat specified), voice, being depressed (over 10 years, treatment sought recently), anxiety (freaking out about getting certified for IT career specified)

Regarding your anxiety and depression, I highly recommend Cognitive Behavioral Therapy with a competent, caring, hard working psychotherapist.

Until you get into good psychotherapy, you can avoid mirrors (I do). Take advantage of the fact that your eyes are placed in such a position on your face that unless you look in a mirror, all you see is other people (and vaguely the end of your nose, and hair if it is messy, but you can cut it). And as you see other people, you can look at their faces and bodies and well, you can do that. And you can listen to what people say about their faces and their bodies.

And you will see that you are far from being the only self critical person out there.

Maybe as people/ animals, we are not supposed to look at ourselves. Animals don’t. Again, the location of our eyes makes it impossible for us to see our faces. So maybe, biologically, we are not supposed to.

I am growing fond of what I am suggesting to you. I like the idea: maybe we are not supposed to look at ourselves.

I have much more to say about self hate, that Inner Critic/ Toxic Inner Critic concept- you can find info on it on line.

Please post again with more thoughts…

anita