Dear Ravi:

Like you wrote from your own experience, a professional counselor can be impatient and not understanding… professionals of all fields are often enough, unfortunately, not competent and/ or not consistently competent. They have their moments… Can’t trust a person because of a certificate they hold, a financial or social status… and so forth.

The way you help me, Ravi, is by being honest and sincere and assertive as you have been with me. You help me by being yourself, as you are, not here to please me or anyone, but in search of being mentally healthy and your authentic self. Communicating with a person such as yourself, these characteristics I just listed, is not common and in so, it is helpful to me. It is through our interactions that I learn more and more.

Regarding what you wrote, very meaningful, and please pay attention to this: you wrote: “in the heat of anger… this voice inside me telling me, ‘don’t be a coward, just say it or you’ll blame yourself … for not having the guts to fight back.”

If there is anything I can teach you, or you can learn from me, more than anything, it is the following point: You have to fight back. Not by abusing another in the heat of anger, but you have to fight!

This is the valid message in your anger each and every time: fight back! Fight back! This is the valid message.

If you don’t listen to this message, you lose. Lose a whole lot.

Remember the presumed dangerous neighbor and how you wanted, in your way then, to fight and your parents told you to be quiet and say nothing? Remember the anger then? This is the anger still, the same anger. If you remain silent, the anger will persist and grow.

Only in the heat of the moment, you fight the wrong person for the wrong aim. But fight you must.

What do you think about the message of fighting? Fighting what? Take your time with that…

anita