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Dear Tugalie:
You suffered and are still suffering the consequences of her abuse of you. I can very much relate to your situation.
I too thought I no longer loved my mother. For years I felt nothing but anger for her. I even felt guilty for not loving her.
A few years into my healing and after no longer having any contact with her, to my great surprise, I felt love for her, my goodness, what a surprise. But I didn’t renew contact with her because at that point I understood that all children naturally feel love for their mothers no-matter-who-the-mother is.
Have you ever attended psychotherapy? If so, what was that experience like?
I have a lot to share with you as I think we have a lot in common, and I will if we continue to communicate, over time.
anita