Dear Ravi:

Your pain is intense. I don’t think you deserve to hurt like this. I am all for you not being abusive when enraged, and I am all for you not suffering. You are making a point I didn’t think about before: she blocked you not because of your abusive behavior but because you expressed (first to a friend who shared that online chat with her) feelings to her not of the brother-sister type. Is that so? I didn’t pay enough attention to this point before.

This is a separate issue, topic. Your feelings of love for her, not of a sibling type, is nothing wrong on your part. You can’t help how you feel and after all, you are not her brother. So, this part, I have to think about it. Again, is that why she blocked you last? And how could she blame you for feeling for her what you do? We don’t choose what we feel…

Bed time for me, and I will be thinking about this last point. Be back at the computer in 10 hours or so, maybe less and will post to you first thing.

Take care and please be gentle with yourself. Don’t make this tougher on you than it has to be. There is no benefit in your suffering, in you believing you deserve to suffer. There is no use in it, it doesn’t help anyone, so please don’t suffer more than you have to. I understand you being tempted to end your pain any which way, but please don’t! We are only on page 6 of your thread and I think the limit is 99 (a joke…)

Till tomorrow (for me)- tell those outside your room pestering you to leave you alone! And try to relax…

anita