Dear Ravi:

Your mother has not been respecting your assertions to leave you alone and that is not right on her part. And it is hurtful to you (as well as hurtful to her own aim at encouraging you to study!)- hence, I referred to her and the grandmother as unreasonable.

What to do? Open the door to your room, stand facing her, look her in the eyes and say in a strong voice, strong, confident, clear voice: “I said, do not talk to me until I talk to you. Until then do NOT talk to me. Do you understand what I just said?”

Still standing in front of her, with your eyes looking into her eyes, strong and confident, see what happens in the next few seconds: if she says yes, and seems surprised, or withdrawing, it worked.

If she continues with a lecture as before, stop her ongoing talk, and with a strong, confident, a bit louder voice, say: “I don’t think you heard me. Now, hear me! I said, do not talk to me until I come to you and talk to you. Do you understand?

Wait, she withdraws- job well done. She re-starts her lecture, say: “I have a problem with you. If you don’t stop talking to me until I talk to you, I will do the opposite of what you say and i will NOT study. Do you understand? If you disrespect me and keep talking to me, I will NOT study. Do you understand?”

If … she keeps talking, close the door on her in the middle of her talking and write to me, will you?

As far as Jerry, remember you told me that she said that if her parents found out she was communicating with a boy online there will be terrible consequences, for her, I assume. Did you ask her what those consequences were? Do you know what they may be?

Those consequences to her are more powerful in deciding her behavior toward you than anything else.

anita