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    Hi Anita,


    thanks for getting back,


    he wants to give it another chance but he doesnt love me yet but he likes me , Its a horrible feeling, he feels like his feelings are blockes he says . He doesnt know If he can open up to annyone ever again.


    I’m going crazy, want to text and call him  every minute of the day, its killing me ?


    One year later:

    my mother recovered ! It is a true miracle, she still needs chemo but for the moment its under control and she is back home en feeling good.

    With my sister, I sometimes hear her, we talk normally.

    I met someone new in september , but he cant make up is mind if he wants to be with me or his ex, today he is deciding , again.


    I hoped that he was the one, but apparantly not if he has this much trouble to decide. It’s killing me, that he will dump me.

    the pain I felt last year was completely different, now it really hurts, if you want to be with some one

    i’m seeing a therapist lately and that helps a bit.

    people are strong, but not endlessly






    everything is over now, my dad passed his last moments with his girlfriend, her son , my sister and me. We opened one last bottle of champagne together.

    When the moment was there , my sister and me held his hand, it was like he fell asleep.

    it all went very quickly.

    There were al lot of people on his funeral, which he would have liked.

    Since then, I feel much more relaxed, I know he has no more pain. I even feel happy sometimes, which has been a long time ago since I felt this way. I seem to enjoy the little things more, like taking a walk, reading, cooking( which I couldn’t do before), and all the things I worried about before, dont mean a thing

    Of course I still worry a lot because of my mother, who is still very ill and needs surgery, but she is to weak at the moment.But I know , even if she doens’t make it, I will overcome this as well.

    I even ordered the worry journal from this site 🙂

    My boyfriend wants me back, too bad, I dont 🙂

    It’s unbelievable how your life can change in a short period of time, and you should really enjoy every moment.

    Before I thought all of this was just nonsens

    People are stronger than they think






    here I am , again.

    Tommorow, my dad is going to die, he asked  for euthanasia, and got it, because his disease in incurable and he is in a lot of pain.( in my country, this is legal)

    It will be very strange, leaving my home an knowing that I am going to see him for the last time. He asked if I could be there , and of course I will.

    My sister will also be there, but she isn’t talking to me, because  I took legal action to get my money back, and is very mad about that.


    My mother is in the hospital due to complications of her cancer treament, and we dont know if she will make it.


    Why is this all happening to me at the same time??? I feel all alone and no one knows what I am going through. I feel so jealous of people who have a family, or husband , or boyfriend who they can depend on ,

    I have a close friend, but  it is not the same as a lifepartner.


    I just hope that I can be happy again, one day



    Thank you for you kind answer.


    I know that there is nothing I can do about my parents diagnoses, but its hard to have to deal with it alone.

    I already took legal action to get my money back from my sister, which was also difficult

    My relationship is truly over and it is for the best, we were not ment to be together.


    I will keep the prayer in mind



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