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pete

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Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 434 total)
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  • #345404

    pete
    Participant

    Lol thanks but I aint no hero. Anyway sadly I just found out I no longer have any overtime due to less people buying stuff.

     

    I’ll call her in a few weeks and ask how things have been for her, if she’s feeling any better.

    #345246

    pete
    Participant

    Thanks, I also want that OT money and rather not live in fear. I’ll try protecting myself and others as much as I can but I don’t wanna leave work when people have to get their food.

     

    Yes I wish I talked more, she has a nice voice! Even if we talked a few minutes saying hey and updating eachother and how we are feeling good enough for me.

    #345216

    pete
    Participant

    Yeah it was good talking to her, maybe 1 day like I told her i’ll tell her that stuff when I said “maybe 1 day i’ll tell you why I am the way I am”.

     

    I work at a grocery store…almost 60 hours a week 6 days a week these days in a small area. I try and respect the 6 feet rule but it’s hard in my area. My day is mostly consumed of work now and that’s mostly it, too tired for anything else like games or movies. She called me today at work, was surprised so asked if everything was ok but it was accidental and everything is fine her phone is messed up andĀ  accidentally called me. So I played around with her response saying her phone meant to call me. šŸ˜‰

     

    Shoulda called her on my break instead of ask if things were ok, coulda heard her voice again. šŸ™‚

    #344898

    pete
    Participant

    Good night, sleep tight and glad you are smiling.

     

    I am going to try sleeping early, never knew how exhausting it can be working in these times and it’s worse if you’re working in a hospital. Had a guy come to me and say he was not sure if anyone notices but he does and appreciates everything I do for people in these times. Did not say much because the whole staying away from everyone and I don’t wear a mask and it can be spread through just talking. I don’t fear what’s going on but I gotta respect peoples boundaries, it IS mostly fear though but I just stay calm and smile at everyone. Fear is causing people to panic but stupidity is causing people to not respect the real dangers we face.

    #344886

    pete
    Participant

    We will all get through these bad times, just stay indoors and 6 feet minimum from anyone including your family for at least a month. Go outdoors for fresh air to be in nature, but be alone in nature and don’t touch anything. We got this! šŸ˜‰

    #344874

    pete
    Participant

    Well we talked for 19 minutes. She’s off work until government let her back to work and told her I needed to get this off my chest and to not respond, I just needed to say it. That I was sorry for what I said, that i’ll respect her decision from now on instead of trying to take a break or ending things and especially over text, she said “thanks I don’t blame you”, asked about how she’s dealing with the virus, not dealing with it well. Asked about her family how they are dealing with it, they are doing fine.

    She is having problems with everything now and also this virus, thinks it might be the appocolypse (sorta joked, sorta didn’t but had a small aha laugh) and said she’s not worried about dieing from this (WTF!!!!!). Told her I hope she and her family are all safe and healthy from the crisis and move forward stronger and thanks for being the best thing to happen to me in my life, she was mostly laughs at the end.

     

    Also told her thank you for your service to humanity and sheĀ  said “awe” and that because what you do even for 1 hour people get to forget what is happening in the world as you heal them, you get to forget aswell as you are healing them. She then said “you have such good words”, told her I write them down because I tend to forget what I am wanting to say so it’s more notes I write what I wanna talk about. That was it (still genuine though).

     

    Oh she wont be seeing her man for 26? days because where he works, he’s an essential worker and I said “I guess you will be facetiming him everyday”, but they don’t talk much since he’s always at work, sleeps and wakes up early so when they talk it’s for a few minutes saying hey and stuff. Also 1 of her daughters is getting evicted at the end of the month and they all need to clear the stuff out by the end of the month, but car broke down so offered to get my dad to drive her there (I would pay for his gas), she really really liked that but probably would take her neighbours car but will keep me in mind. Also told her if she needs anything at all to give me a shout and I can get her groceries before everyone else piles in.

     

    But most importantly, I told her thanks for being the best thing to ever happen to me, she kinda had a small laugh at it but she’s stressed about lots of things. She, like you, said I have good words lol, I just say what I mean. I also said since you’re off work for a while call me if you really need to talk about anything, i’ll also update you on my work. Maybe she will, maybe she wont.

    #344682

    pete
    Participant

    Well, stay safe and healthy over there. I’m getting a temp raise at my work doing 9-10 hour shifts making overtime going to make a lot of money. But I feel bad benefiting this while so many lost their jobs and soon minds…and it’s my duty as a man and a person to help out so i’ll give my extra cash to help someone that needs it I think.

     

    As for her…I text her yesterday if we could talk and got some cool news to share but her phone is on the fritz and will call me in a few days and was curious what my news could be and now she’s taking time off work as of today (guessing to be with her family), so prob will tell me no for talking any time soon.

    #344222

    pete
    Participant

    Yeah, blew my chance. Like I said, I told her on the phone when she was with him I liked her but was never going to make a move on her. Wish I could go back, I would make my move! I’d have told her what she meant to me, but would say it more like “I have something to tell you and I hope it doesn’t ruin things between us if you don’t like it but I am crazy for you, just wanted to be honest with you and I am ok if you don’t feel the same way”.

    #344214

    pete
    Participant

    Yeah that woman was probably 20, don’t think she’s down for older men into younger women because her daughters. I also was talking to other young women there and was loudly talking with this other and the woman this thread is about said “you sure like talking” and I said “only when I am drunk”.

     

    What do you think though…do you think she liked me by what I posted or am I just looking at it all wrong?

    #344080

    pete
    Participant

    I will say 1 thing though…I think she DID like me a little but it wasn’t enough because I didn’t really do anything. Maybe I did not chase her the way she was hoping? I dunno. But she would be sad if we didn’t talk, one time she had a frowny face in text when I said “this time I wont fall asleep”, she said nobody ever tells her the stuff I tell her and that I am such a great guy and she wants me to call her ANYTIME I am thinking about her so she obviously liked the attention I was giving her, but not following up on it for more. Plus that hike she put makeup on when knowing I was near by and saying “you’re just nervous you’re seeing me”

     

    Also that night she told me nobody ever tells her this with how her voice went low we did not hang up for like 10? seconds, was pure silence…if only I had said “I don’t wanna hang up” like I was thinking, she was most likely thinking the same thing. She used to also text back “Please call šŸ™‚ ” we would normally sit side by side leg touching leg.

     

    So I think what MAY have happened was she was waiting for me to make a move, liked my attention I gave her and I did nothing with it, then she went to this event and those 2 clicked right away and missed eachother terribly for a few months and eventually he told her and they went on a date and BOOM! While I did not have the same chemistry they have, she waited for me to make the move and he did and I didn’t so he had her and she drifted away for feelings towards me and eventually does not really even see me even as a friend which is why she does not text me anymore and does not get excited about our phone calls and neverĀ  wants toĀ  see me anymore.

     

    If I had taken my leap? I am sure I would have got the girl. If I had told her my feelings for her, she would have shared hers with me and taken things and I would have been happy…MAYBE! When we had coffee last month she said she’s an old fashion girl, only into 1 guy. So…maybe she rather have the guy also call her unless they are a couple? being old fashion she likes to be chased and I never chased her.

     

    Just what I think happened, what do you think? it all adds up if you look at the pieces. Now she just doesn’t look at me the same way, her feelings for me changed because she thought of me as more then a friend, but now not really even a friend…an acquaintance. It’s why things between us changed, not because of the guy…HER feelings. She also said we are always going to be together getting through everything together, but I missed my chance.

     

    We are always going to BE together.

    #344072

    pete
    Participant

    I can’t tell her I love her now, I lost that chance as she has a boyfriend. She knows I used to like her when I casually told her, she kept saying several times she was flattered, which is terrible to hear. Means she did not like me back. She also said she had a feeling I did. But it wasn’t the truth…it was a littleĀ  more then “like her”.

    #343992

    pete
    Participant

    Yeah I know all about my pattern since the beginning and I realize I only realize we were close when the feeling goes away, when we were close I never realized it I just felt like “normal” but still complained and wanted out, like this is how it is and it’s only happened a few times we had times of “closeness”, when I had my crisis, she had her crisis and we helped each other through it and when we reconnected in Oct when she started her new career she loves we got close again but it just felt “normal” to me, like just another day sort of thing. But now it all feels so different, like I want things to be how they used to but never are, I tell her things are not what they used to be, she knows they aren’t and feels bad and doesn’t like this happening but I can’t try and fix it because she doesn’t want things to be how they used to be between us, she’s moved on while I havn’t.

     

    She will still say “friend” and normally agree to talking on the phone and says call anytime I want butĀ  it’s not the same, even the texting is really quick and takes forever now, sometimes up to a day now. I asked a guy at my work that I have this friend I used to be really close with and things went downhill when she got a boyfriend. He told me same thing happened with him when he got a girlfriendĀ  and it really sucks, the friendships kinda just…died off. He just wanted to spend his time around her, so I told him if I should just leave her be and do her own thing and he saidĀ  “Yeah just let her do her own thing”.

     

    So maybe that’s what I have to do? move on with my life, let her do her own thing and maybe down the line when we are much older try and restart things. Worry about my life, how I want things and find people I want to be close with and have connections with.

    I can’t keep forcing things, if she’s not investing energy at all into keeping me around I am just sabotaging myself. Maybe I should have told her my feelings for her in the past? I didn’t wanna ruin things between us. This will also give me an idea of what I will look for in people, like if they rarely wanna hang out or keep in contact and all about their family I wont invest any energy.

    #343866

    pete
    Participant

    I’ll be around here and there.

    #343860

    pete
    Participant

    It doesn’t make sense to me, sorry. I can’t change my feelings but to me if you like that person you WANT to stick around or you wont because you don’t like that person that much to wanna stick around with them (even as friends). I like the people I work with but I don’t really wanna see them outside of work, I am not connected to them except through work, it’s mostly I enjoy working with them and nothing more. Work is more then enough for me.

     

    I am guessing she’s let a few friendships go in the past due to her not wanting to continue things with them and I don’t blame them. It’s SO tiring doing everything yourself wishing things would change but they never will you’re the only one that cares enough about it. I can’t change this perspective of mine, it’s such a simple way to think or you start making things complicated. All I know is I used to be enough until I wasn’t, now it’s a broken friendship and I keep delaying the inevitable because I can’t let her go due to what she means to me and she knows what she means to me because I have told her she means a great deal to me and those talks on the phone like when I made her cry before her first trip to the US telling her she was my light in the darkness when I was struggling and a reason for me to keep going, helping her out in her time of need when nobody else was helping her out, and other times like when I told her she can call me anytime she wanted for a bad day, good day, great news, just to talk, etc and we shared a moment in silence not wanting to get off the phone. She felt it, I felt it, it was felt by both of us.

     

    It’s why I can’t meet her boyfriend, I will feel SO angry because everything we had been through all those years was washed away the moment they met each other like they never existed, like I never existed.

    #343852

    pete
    Participant

    Thanks. The only thing I have come away from this is “Why?”, why do you not wanna keep in touch with me? why back then did you wanna stay in touch but since you got a boyfriend am I not enough? it’s just so confusing. My thinking is you either want to stick around or you don’t. It goes back to when she said she’s looking for a small group of friends in 2017, the best summer of my life and when we hung out on Oct 2018 legalization day in my province tells me she now has more time for people that matter to her. She knows she does this “it is a little hard for me when friends get hurt because of not a lot of contact, I don’t like it” but you still do it…if I don’t contact her I would never hear from her again. That just tells me she knows she does this but she doesn’t really care about fixing the issue. The whole text was this.

     

    Me: Can you call me? I don’t want us to go out like this, I’ve known you so long and I don’t want some type of rift between us because of my insecurities projected on the both of you.

    Her: Hi Pat! Let’s stay friends and just rewind to before you said you weren’t contacting me again. All good. I am not up for talking on the phone right now, nothing personal just feeling a little sensitive right now not because of you, butĀ  life lol. It is a little hard for me when friends get hurt because of not a lot of contact, I don’t like it. But not your fault I totally get it.

    Me: How about soon? I really feel awful for what I said, I literally could not sleepĀ  a wink last night because what I said, I’mĀ  sorry. I just never felt close to a friend since elementary school and felt like we were on the brink of it ending and as the idiot as I am said that stupid lack of trust stuff for both of you, I have the trust issues. I really hope all is good with you both, it’s awesome seeing you happy with him and I hope you and him are always happy together. Please smile, always keep smiling and I hope whatever is bothering you gets fixed.

Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 434 total)