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Yeah since we stopped that thread I stopped talking to her and stopped with that dumb stuff, can’t be bothered with someone that gets a boyfriend and decides you have to do all the work now or you’re not in their life LMAO!!!! No longer sad about our old history or angry, I just forgot about her period and if she tries to reach out in a year or 2 and see how I am doing and to get together I will just tell her another time, that’s all I will say to her from now on as I don’t even want to hang ouut with her anymore. I’m no longer that person you knew back then, I started following red pill mindset and it puts things into perspective and not wasting my time around people like that anymore, I aint gonna allow some woman to steal MY energy anymore nor any woman because I hold my own power and I’m gonna try and not be like I used to, more women can be around if I choose to let them be around, but I wont cling to a woman. Also I kept going for so long I think because I kept going back to that thread, it’s retired now for good. You can call me pete if you wish.
As for my cat, he will be dearly missed. What gives me a glimmer of hope of seeing all of them again is this video. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hz_4FGdWVF8 and videos of huff paranormal. In a few months I will get another kitty, in the meantime I will just greave and get on my purpose with no distractions any more. Judging by how stupid people are in the world by hearing about the pandemic idiots, I may not be as dumb as I think I was. I need to get in shape and start making $$$, maybe I can easily afford a few kitties and a few doggies plus the other things I want.
Apparently my post is awaiting moderation that I made. :/
Anyway I am not the same person, started following red pill mindset and while I am not gonna end things with her I am no longer keeping in touch with her, done wasting my time and not talked to her since. You can call me pete if you wish.
I miss my boy, and what gives me hope to being able to see all my cats and my dog is watching steve huff on youtube and a video called “Sam Parnia – Is Life After Death Possible?”.
Now it’s time to get on my purpose…no more distractions. Get money, get a few kitties and doggies and work on self developement.
Alright, thanks for all the help and support in this thread over the years and stay safe over there. 🙂
I’m gonna block her from my phone so she wont hear from me period until I am ready to just be friends. I’d still wanna hang out and talk on the phone obviously but I need a break from this all.
No contact. I wont say no contact but I wont message her until 2021 as a mean of trying to move on, so 6 months.
Maybe I can do the things she and I have talked about that we both have been wanting to do or doing.
Alright I will say that to her, was thinking of giving it until Jan at least to try and move on a little before coming back and trying to just be her friend.
Thanks for the tips, i’ll try remembering them in the moment. I guess I should change the words I w ill tell her at the hike from
“I’ll let you think about if you still want to remain friends and give you until August 1st, if I don’t hear back from you by then you wont hear from me again”
“I am gonna take some time away for a while, but if you still wanna talk and see me message me before Aug 1”. I am not going to let her respond to what I will tell her, I am not looking for an answer just a release after all these years, an answer wont mean anything to me because the past is the past and long gone and I am just living in the long gone. After that I think it’s best I let her know to not reach out to me until I reach out when I am ready.
We talked for 34 minutes, it’s going to get dark soon so I told her I am gonna let you go so you can do a little gardening work you wanted to do today but didn’t before it gets dark and you can’t.
I told her how sorry I was, she said no don’t worry about it, it’s just me being me i’m not very good at texting or calling and she was sorry, told her no I want to appologize I dunno what I was thinking and that was a little harsh of me and said I accept your appology and we all have our insecurities including me but I accept your appology and said she likes having me as her friend. Talked about a few people at my work she dearly misses and and loves, and used to always be in touch with but havn’t since the move, told her last summer the one she loves told me she was sad when she moved away with her boyfriend, so told her she should message them and do something with them, she said she will even if it’s a walk from a distance. She really wants to be more social, she misses it and not hanging out with anyone and really wants to start doing cardio everyday. I was inspiring her with things, sent me a video. Talked about her man and things are not all sunshine and rainbows, the wow factor has died down and it’s more them settling down with family stuff now, she wants to settle down more.
Also told me about her best friend that lives far away they recently talked, they normally talk every couple months on the phone. It’s mostly me and her mom that talk, sometimes her daughters for a few minutes. Also other things but that’s the jist of it, told her bye and that we need to talk about the hike next month soon and she said “yeah sure”. I also told her that I try talking atleast 1 maybe 2 times a month and nothing more, I have a problem where I think I am being annoying if I call too much so I prefer it this way and that if we did talk more what would we even talk about? she said no call whenever, that she likes talking to me and she wont get annoyed if we talked more. But I am not going to, I still feel trapped talking on the phone like I am stuck in a box or something even if she does have a really nice voice.
Now it’s time to watch a few videos she text me.
BTW I did tell her a few months back on the phone “maybe 1 day I will tell you why I am the way I am” and she said “Oh”. Anyway I am going to play some games now. She does seem to like when I open up to her about feelings and stuff, like that call late Dec about her darkness and when she told me she’s not scared to die from covid, told me I have such good words. Or when I first told her I want her to be free she said “You want me to be free?” in an OMG!!!!!! type of tone. I guess nobody tells her this stuff. :/
I legit teared up the whole time writing that long post, took me a while to write it thinking back and all.
Thanks and it’s best to do these things in person rather a text/email/phone call.
What if the guy is with her on that long hike? should I still tell her with him listening?
Home from work now. Here, what I will do is tell her the truth when we hang out in July, it will just be me and her hanging out for 2-3 hours and at the end when we are about to leave I will tell her that I did not want anyone to forget her so I brought people to her restaurant job but truth was I did not wanna forget her. About that day in the summer when we connected it left a powerful effect on me and I still think of that day and that summer we got really really close like I have never felt a closeness to someone before and we slowed down after a few months then picked it up again in that October and how awesome I felt talking to someone on the phone and it felt like you really really liked talking to me and were sad that night we didn’t after your dance class you taught when I was tired and that trip for your advancement when we had that moment together at the end of the phone call when I told you to call me anytime for good/bad news, just because, etc and I still mean it to this day and I was going to tell you my feelings a long time ago before your guy but someone at work told me you got a lot going on in your life and only connection to the old job and you really need a friend so I sucked it up and was going to eventually tell you but never did and it’s going to be a huge regret in my life even if you didn’t feel the same way, I would have atleast told you that I loved you since pretty much the beginning. When we hung out for our first hike and saw you put makeup on after texting you I was near I thought “maybe she does like me???”, and the phone call when you told me we are always going to be together getting through everything together and when you wanted to see me when I went to a life coach and to call you after to know how it went.
You’re special to me and always will be and I am not trying to say this to you to try and steal you from your guy, I would never do that to anyone nor do I want you or him to hate me, nor me hate either of you, he makes you happy and that’s all that really matters in the end, I really miss the old days when we would text in the morning for a few minutes, it got me through some really tough times and even in those minutes it brought big joy to my day and now you know why I wanna see you more then 1-2 times a year, I am sure if we saw eachother monthly I will still want more and I hope your guy is kind to you and treats you with loving respect and does not stray you from your path, be at peace together, always. Love eachother, grow together, be happy, be kind, be free and never let people change you unless it’s the good kind. Thank you for letting me help you in your darkness and teaching me along the way.
I’ll let you go now, I dunno how things will change between us now but at least I got my truth out, and now you know what’s been eating me alive. I’ll let you think about if you still want to remain friends and give you until August 1st, if I don’t hear back from you by then you wont hear from me again but I will wish you well on your life journey and would understand why you don’t wanna keep communicating.
But she has a guy so what’s the point? Would probably annoy her I told her and kinda ruin things. If she ever moved away to that far away place I told you about I would likely say my goodbyes and tell her since I wont see her again and rather not communicate via phone only, likely wont be able to text her anymore from the distance and I refuse to get FB and would request a last hangout.
I dunno any other way to message her that I wanna talk with her except “let’s talk today/few days/this week when you’re not busy”. What should I say? Also what do you mean by “Is there any way to break through the circle barrier and venture out, experience something better?”?
Also I was going to ask her back in Dec 2018 my feelings for her but a guy at my work told me not to, she’s got a lot on her plate and she really just needs a friend right now, so I didn’t and because of it I will regret it forever. I eventually casually told her that I used to like her and it went away and feelings came back when I found out she had a guy and she kept saying how flattered she is.