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if he is flirting on Instagram on and off, it is clear the relationship (not you) does fulfill his needs ( what ever they are …. and most likely he does not know what his real needs are ) . The first rush of love is all consuming , I suggest you find a better partner to love, someone who is prepared to dedicate them selves to you ….. this is especially important at the very beginning , as you get to know each otherMay 20, 2021 at 12:40 am in reply to: Opposites may attract but will they stay together?? #380107
Are your core values and beliefs aligned ? I would suspect they are as you have been together for 27 years . So you have a foundation. When families are reared and you have more time it is natural to question your life decisions. Possibly you both need independent interests and friends that will enrich you as individuals thus feeding your relationship with topics , the time together becomes more precious
Generally when couples break up, they break up for a good reason. As they say let them go free and if they really loved you they will come back. Before social media a break up meant exactly that, with zero contact . Now with social media you can hold on tight by checking up constantly . I suggest you have no contact for over a year and then call to ask for a coffee, basically reset the relationship , give it a second chance as both of you will have learnt and matured.
We all want find and connect with that special person ….. it is good that you understand this man is not one. I wish you joy and happiness …. and know you will find that special person that will fill your days and night . Keep the faith
Has decency returned ?
Interesting what worried us yesterday is nothing today
Nice to see a calm and normality descent ….. hopefully a new age of acceptance and understanding
Funny … as the years drift by the old memories crystallise
I wonder with the changes underway, the foundation of science in our pandemic recovery ,….. are we now entering a new era of truth based on science and facts
Dear Chatty Lady
Another point of interest, all marriages have hard times . After the birth of children , especially the first child, can be especially hard. The excitement of youth, love and freedom are replace overnight by responsibility , demands and limitations .
When you child begin to have a level of self containment ( around 4 years old) to you feel you can start reclaiming your life. It is possible that “this guy” represents a fast track back to your old self.
Dear Chatty Lady
In you situations seven people will potentially have their lives altered if you processed to be with “this guy”. Three are children who could spend a life time trying to understand what happened, why a parent left and the disruptive aftermath.
I suggest you forget about “this guy” for 12 months with zero contact. Focus on your husband, decide together if you have a future. Because of your child you life and your husbands are wound together no matter what you do, so if you decide to divorce you will have to agree how you rear your son. Once you have figured out your future with your husband, then and only then can you start to consider what role “this guy” plays in your life .
TonyOctober 25, 2020 at 4:00 am in reply to: I’m addicted to nostalgic feelings and it only makes me feel worse, I guess. #368216
Reading your post I am impressed with quality of your writing, the depth of your feeling , your passion and the colourful interpretation you captured from one simple photo is truly amazing. The pain and pattern of your thought process is so profoundly expressive. I read a book recently by Emily Ruskovich called Idaho, your quality of anguished writing is similar . A terrible beauty fighting to be find meaning, to be understood and ultimately to be loved.
I am dyslexic, I write and cry later when I see my stupid spelling and grammar mistakes, I am always so impressed by people with your talent. Success is a fight to over come your weakness and fears, some say you spend your adult life trying to understand your childhood. I succeeded in areas I though I was weak, I tried so hard not been seen as stupid I succeeded beyond my wildest expectations. In school teachers would rank us 1 to 48, yes we had 48 pupils in our class room, I was always in the mid 40’s, a few from the bottom. I hated it , this experience added rocket fuel to my drive, my relentless competitive drive … it’s only in recent years I have begun to realise that I have arrived.
You could write a book based on that simple photo posted by the sea side , I suggest you use you deep personal search for meaning to write.
This is difficult ….. as old flames burn bright in the dark of the lonely night .
I had a friendship with a woman over 30 years ago, it was not sexual but we were very attracted to each other, but circumstances were against us. This was before the age of social media so we lost contact for over 30 years . We did connect earlier this year but it fizzled out because in the end we realised we had our lives today and did not want to hurt loves ones by connecting with a nostalgic fantasy from a long time ago….. in the end old flames can’t hold a candle to the person who has lived a real life with you .
I wish you strength and awareness as you navigate this oxymoron of the heartOctober 22, 2020 at 9:25 am in reply to: I’m addicted to nostalgic feelings and it only makes me feel worse, I guess. #368096
You are not along being trapped in nostalgia. It is clear you had a good childhood and now compare your life with good memories from the past. We are all products of our experiences , so all people are nostalgic to different degrees. Overall, I see nothing wrong with creating experiences that made you happy.
Actually, there is no such thing as success, so long as the projects you do satisfy your curiosity good things usually fall into place.
I had a post here explaining the root of my deep nostalgia , a regular contributor called me a liar and ridiculed me, a total character assassination, so I deleted my post and find it hard to now trust people on this site …. but I am trying to over come this .
You write that you felt exploited, why do you feel exploited ?
yes , life is all about attitude