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Emma

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  • #293467

    Emma
    Participant

    Oh dear.

    My heart breaks for you all. Although it sounds like you’re on the up, which is amazing news!

    I’m a healer and in a surprising twist have discovered that my healings are amazing at resolving heart break. So much so, that I’m putting together a healing heartbreak package and want to test the waters further before making it official, so I’m offering it for free for 5 people.

    If you want, get in touch and we can arrange something. But it sounds like you may not need it!

    emma@emmavergara.com

    #286297

    Emma
    Participant

    Realise this is a month old but had to chime in! Really good advice here.

    I’m drawn to the response, “You’ll be bored” – This indicates that you’re perceived as being over-qualified for the roles you’re applying for.  If so, are you applying for lower skilled roles because you want to feel secure that they won’t fire you? Statistically, women are more likely to do this than men.  If not, have you embelished your CV?

    We develop our money-beliefs at an early age from our parents (mostly) or how, as children, we observe other’s spending habits. It’s really important to identify what those limiting beliefs are and trace them back to the formative events, so that you can begin to unravel the pattern.  We create our reality with our beliefs, thoughts and actions – so those money beliefs in effect, are creating yours right now.

    “I’m pretty sure reputable employers won’t employ me” – You have to get smart with how you speak to yourself and define your reality.

    Break the pattern, don’t become it.

    I wish you luck!

    Emma

    http://www.emmavergara.com

    #284049

    Emma
    Participant

    Hi Nick,

    I have experience with Intrusive Thoughts and they can truly be debilitating.

    It’s helpful to understand what an intrusive thought is and why we have them. It may also be comforting for you to know that the most common topics of intrusive thoughts are religious and sexual of nature. You didn’t divulge the extent of your intrusive thoughts and I wouldn’t want to press upon your sensitivities, but just know that no matter how dark your thoughts are, you are not alone and it is very common.

    Do know that I have experienced what you’re going through and the solution that helped me, may be surprising.

    Firstly, Intrusive Thoughts are a component of OCD and are most common in people with extremely high morals. If we have a thought we fundamentally disagree with, we push it away out of repulsion. But, the act of resisting a thought actually causes those thoughts to come back. It can be incredibly distressing. Particularly when the subject matter is of a highly sensitive nature.

    Stress is a precursor Intrusive Thoughts. The brain perceives a threat to your survival and therefore signals to you that you’re in danger, by way of intrusive thoughts. You then get trapped in a totally illogical cycle because the only ‘danger’ you’re in is the distress produced by the thoughts your brain is producing!

    Here’s what transformed my experience:

    Managing stress levels, respecting my limits and pulling away when things get too much. Exhaustion and poor quality sleep increase anxiety and therefore intrusive thoughts, so getting enough rest is paramount.  Eating foods rich in probiotics (Your gut is your second brain and regulates mood). Interestingly, the Solar Plexus chakra, while a mental chakra actually regulates emotions, so when the Solar Plexus chakra is inharmonious (closed or chaotic), it indicates extreme emotional conditions.

    Not resisting the thought. What you resist persists. It’s extremely difficult but if you allow yourself to have the thought and not react to it, disenaging completely, you allow the ‘life cycle’ of the thought to complete, therefore breaking the cycle.

    Inner Child work. Active dialogue with the intrusive thought. I came across this quite naturally and found that I resolved many root beliefs that fed into my Intrusive Thoughts, in doing this. When I dialogued with the Intrusive Thought, I’d be transformed to the originating scene in my childhood and be able to comfort and reason with my inner child.  However Robert Johnson, a jungian pyschologist, asserts caution with this method and potentially working with a therapist to do this, as some of the imagery that comes up can be intense. His book Inner Work is an interesting look at working with subconscious imagery.

    But here’s the crucial part:

    The ‘topics’ of intrusive thoughts that I’d fed an extraordinary amount of fear into (family related also), were stored within my energy field, creating form and density. In the same way trauma is held physiologically, so too are thoughts and emotions, if their proper flow is interrupted and they become stuck.

    I was working with an incredible healer who quite literally saved my life twice, during intense episodes of intrusive thoughts. She removed the fear based energy from my energy field and from that point forward those topics never bothered me again. I was totally clear of them. She inspired me to become a healer because I had first hand experience in how powerful and transformational it is.

    Manging Intrusive Thoughts is a holistic process which must be approached from many different angles. But please, if they become too much please seek professional medical help as medication can at least pacify them to some degree. Meditation doesn’t resolve them but is necessary to get through the rough patches.

    I hope some of this is of some help!

    Emma

    http://www.emmavergara.com

    #284035

    Emma
    Participant

    Hi Carien,

    I’m so sorry that you’re in such a difficult situation. Emotions truly can be overwhelming.

    I’d like to tell you a little story…

    Years ago, I had body-dysmorphia and was fixated on my image. Obsessive weight training became my identity. I poured myself into relationships which became a source of self-esteem and value, because I didn’t recognise my own. I hung onto toxic relationships because without them, I was nothing.

    But, the problem with identifying things outside of yourself is that when they’re taken away, it’s devastating. As you well know…

    Well, I herniated a disk during a deadlift.. And it took me 2 years before I could walk properly, let alone exercise.

    As you can imagine, the hit on my self-esteem, self-worth and my perceived value completely imploded and I was in pieces.

    Suddenly, my entire identity was stripped away.

    One day, 3 years later I finally looked at myself in a mirror and didn’t feel replused. Not only that, but I loved myself for who I was not what I was.

    That injury caused me to embark on a journey of self-love, where I learned to embrace my value and no longer need validation from others. Even though I still can’t exercise 5 years on, I’m so grateful for that experience because learning to love yourself is truly one of the most valueable lessons.

    When you love yourself fully, utterly, totally and completely, you attract people and situations into your life that resonate with that. You create your life from the relationship you have with yourself.

    Perhaps a shift in perception is needed, to see that this situation is an opportunity for you to find who you truly are and love who you truly are, at your core.. stripping away all of the limiting beliefs you formed as a child. Beliefs that you’re not enough, not loveable, not heard or seen. Whatever it is, you must identify your beliefs and get them onto paper. Pick up a pen and just start writing. Writing is a really powerful way of shifting your inner landscape.

    Repeat to yourself, “I AM enough”, slowly, several times a day. Overtime you’ll begin to believe it. As I did.

    It doesn’t happen over night, but it will happen and you will get through this, stronger and brighter than you could’ve ever imagined.

    In time you may even see this situation as a turning point in your life and be thankful.. Just as I was.

    Wishing you luck!

    Emma

    http://www.emmavergara.com

    #284031

    Emma
    Participant

    Hi Sarah,

    I haven’t read the other replies so apologies if this has been covered but, the most important thing for you is to establish healthy boundaries and work on the relationship you have with yourself. Self-love, all the way.

    The relationship you have with yourself, sets the tone for every relationship you have.

    The thing with boundaries, is that they stem from a place of self-worth and how we inately value ourselves. Having strong boundaries doesn’t mean that you’re being selfish, it simply means you’re respecting and honouring yourself.

    You mentioned that you want to please others and not hurt their feelings. I wonder if this stems from a belief you formed as a child, that you weren’t good enough and therefore had to appease those around you in order to get validation that you WERE enough?

    Guess what? You’ve always been enough and you always will be. It’s time you start believing that.

    There’s also an energetic component. You seem to be highly sensitive and take on the feelings of those around you (energetically) via your Empathic nature.

    It’s a wonderful gift… But it can be an enormous burden to the person who hasn’t yet developed emotional dicernment.

    The problem is, you pick up on an emotion then immediately identify with it, then make it yours “Oh, I feel sad… Why is this? Oh it’s because of xyz…” When in actual fact, that emotion wasn’t yours in the first place!

    So the next time you feel something, ask yourself “Does this emotion belong to me” And if not, simply observe the emotion in a meditative state while you allow it to flow out of you. It’s a case of detachment.  Energy is meant to flow and emotions are energy.

    I wish you luck! Recognising your value is a long journey but ultimately the most rewarding.

    Emma

    http://www.emmavergara.com

Viewing 5 posts - 1 through 5 (of 5 total)