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  • in reply to: Any tips in how to solve communication problems? #402410

    Dear anita,

    After i saw her singing that song, and tbh if she still likes me… my objective is to show her that i still have feelings for her too… although i know she’ll insist on not having a relationship till a few more years…..

    I’m planning to post a song too, to show her the sign….

    But i remember she has told me a year ago, to not wait for her (it’s in the thread on my previous account)….

    Honestly, i still think about her everyday… it’s just that i’m now better at suppressing it and continue doing my daily activities…


    I hope that i wont regret, keep pushing for her….. because i dont want to end up hitting my head again and screaming because i made the wrong decision… it was really a dark period for me….but i also dont want to regret not pushing to my limits for any potential future with her……

    After all this time, i still wish she’s the one for me…

    in reply to: Any tips in how to solve communication problems? #402408

    Dear anita,

    Do u have any suggestions or tips regarding this issue?

    in reply to: Any tips in how to solve communication problems? #402400

    Well not fully blinded by her (wrong explanation), but it’s like i’m thinking more of her than previously before that video she posted

    in reply to: Any tips in how to solve communication problems? #402399

    Dear anita,

    Ahh i see, so she hasn’t been active here for a while…

    Regarding the girl i had a crush on for a long time,

    Do u think it’s pretty dumb if i still have feelings for her, especially when i saw her posting a video of her singing (the song is dedicated to someone that she can’t be together with (i can paste the youtube link here if you’d like to hear the song lyrics 😅… and i’m pretty sure the song is for me (this isnt me being overconfident, but im really really sure its me))

    Idk why she posted that after a year of no contact with me…
    I always feel that she still likes me, but i never thought that she’ll post a video like that…

    Before she posted that video, tbh i still have feelings for her but i can still control it, while trying to find new possible girlfriends…. But after she posted that i became blinded by her again… i cant control it….

    What do u think of this situation?

    This is a separate issue from the “monkey mind” right?

    in reply to: Any tips in how to solve communication problems? #402337

    Dear anita,

    Yes i usually re-read our previous conversations through my previous accounts every time i’m stuck with the overthinking issue…. I even screenshotted some… so i can read it whenever im not connected to the internet….

    besides yours, I also re-read my previous conversations with other people too, especially my conversation with TeaK…. that person really helped me and i’m really thankful for that…. although idk whether if she’s still active here…..


    Regarding ur suggestion for me to talk with Leaagain, i guess she has deactivated her account recently, therefore i can no longer talk to her….


    Btw have we ever discussed about relationships topic before? Like about that girl i use to have a crush on for a very long time?




    in reply to: Alone: Paralyzed and Full Of Hatred #401936

    Hi Leaagain,

    I’ve come here from the reference of anita, to ask several tips regarding the internal issues i’m having with myself….

    Are you willing to hear me out?

    Thank you.





    in reply to: Any tips in how to solve communication problems? #401501

    Dear anita

    I tried to give you many pieces of advice over the years, but none of them helped.

    = Some of them really helped me, and im thankful for it…. I can say that i have a better mindset now than the past years… it’s just that this kind of problems could easily triggered by actions/words from society…. And i need to learn how to adapt with it…

    I also no longer hit my head or scream when i’m frustrated… I can see some positives that i achieved on my mental health…


    in reply to: Any tips in how to solve communication problems? #401496

    Dear anita,

    Yeah, i guess i need to isolate myself from people for a while again… and try to calm my mind…

    I think it’s not just about the regret, it’s also regarding the “comparison” mindset that i constantly apply in my life… it’s torturing…

    in reply to: Any tips in how to solve communication problems? #401386

    Dear anita,

    it’s a good thing that you are aware of this. I am praising you right here for being self-aware.

    = day by day i’m becoming more and more self-aware, i think it’s due to prevent making the same mistakes.


    I think not because it was so hard for your brain. And because you tend to lose interest when things get tiring and hard.

    I think that you should do something easy, for now. (Maybe later, you will have more of a tolerance for doing things that are difficult to do).

    = Tbh i can’t really think of something easy to learn which can make myself feel accomplished/gaining an achievement….

    I really want to cover all my regrets (like my “easy” bachelor degree) by achieving lots of things and also i want to prove to many people that i can do something…. especially to people who underestimates me… (such as my parents)

    I regret that i used to always follow what my parents wanted, like they influenced me to take this degree….. and just help their business…

    And now sometimes they tease me that i cant earn my own money…. like what do they want actually? It’s getting on my nerves…. If i get married later on i’d want to live in a separate house than them… but i dont have my own money now and i dont know what my specialties are, this is why i want to learn drawing… maybe i can earn online….

    If i could turn back time and have this “maturity mindset”, i’d take a degree which is related to drawing abroad and find myself a job there….. then i wont be stressed with this…..

    They even contributed in my anxiety (like giving me this height, their family issues) and i solved it without their help…. I’m always alone…..

    My parents never appreciate me or praise me at all….. and everyday they mostly about my sister’s university plans…. because she’s smart, she’s most likely going to attend a good public university….

    in reply to: Any tips in how to solve communication problems? #401264

    Dear anita,

    I believe my inferiority only starts when most of my friends are growing way taller than me….. before that period i’m an arrogant person and easily gets jealous of other people’s achievement….


    Aside from the inferiority…

    I’m thinking of learning how to draw digitally from skillshare….

    But i need to pay every month….. so i’m in a dilemma if it’s worth it or not…. Because i’m a person who tends to lose interest if it gets tiring and hard…..

    I tried learning how to draw from youtube few months ago….. i even bought myself a digital drawing pad….. but it’s so hard for my brain and eventually i give up……

    It’s because i’m tired of my parents teasing me that i cant earn my own money…. and maybe i thought i can earn something from drawing digitally…..

    But this idea isnt only for earning….. i really wanted to be able to draw since i was a kid, i was always fascinated with animators who can draw an interesting or cool cartoons…..

    What do u think of this idea? Should i go for it?

    in reply to: Any tips in how to solve communication problems? #401195

    Dear anita,

    Thank you for the effort on praising,

    But i feel like the praise i need is when i have some kind of achievement or something to be proud of… because in my state right now, there isnt something worth praising for…

    in reply to: Any tips in how to solve communication problems? #401103

    Dear anita,

    yes, I did learn over time, reading and participating in your many threads (in a few separate accounts) how your brain works. Here is key: the more you know how your own brain works, the better your life will be.

    = Day by day i understand more and more on how my brain works…

    Indeed as you’ve said before, my brain is filled with inferiority…. tbh sometimes i can contain this inferiority, the difficult part is that i’m a person who loves to get praised by someone (as i’ve ever mentioned previously that in my primary school days i always get good grades, and lots of people praised me, also at that time height isnt an issue at all)

    Right now i’m confused on what should i do to get people to praise me, it doesnt have to be a praise actually… but i want people to view me as someone who’s good at something… because no one ever knew what my specialties are…. even my parents….

    If i knew at that time, that they wont praise me for helping their business after graduating….. i wouldnt follow their advice on taking this degree…… And this gives me a mindset that if i have a child one day….. i’ll do a different method of guiding them on choosing their degree…… so he/she wont end up like me…

    Few months ago i keep regretting on why i didnt take a degree in animation (i wanted to take animation that time, but my parents convinced me that it’s better to take business degree and eventually help their business)…. because if i took that degree…. people will label me as “someone who can draw, or someone who specialize in arts”……. Then at that time i bought myself a drawing pad that could be connected to my laptop….. But it’s really hard… i guess i have no talent in drawing… maybe it’s just an interest of mine that i love japanese cartoons (anime) which prompted me to have thoughts of taking animation degree….

    I also consider to take graphic design that time…

    I feel like if i took one of these degrees, i can get lots of positives:

    – People will label me as an art person

    – At least i can do something related to drawing by drawing for other people online…. while doing my parents business….


    I consider of taking online classes related to design or animation… but idk if it’s worth it… because along the road i’m a person who easily lost interest if i find it hard….


    Nowadays i also go to the gym to gain results which could make other people praising something about me…..

    I really love praises…. and also achievements (if possible)….


    The job i’m doing right now in the office is nothing special, like people without a degree could also do that…… that’s why i keep forcing myself to show to people that i have some kind of specialty….


    But sometimes laziness controls my mind, therefore making me procrastinate…. i also need to get rid of this….



    If you have this visual, maybe you will be able to imagine that it is possible for you too- one day in the future- to feel comfortable around taller people, men and women.

    = i’m trying my best to to solve this problem…. because this kind of thoughts gives me dilemma….. e.g. like will i feel uncomfortable/disgrace with girls who has the same height as me (because most girls i’m attracted to has the same height (i guess i used to mention about this))….. or should i lower my demands and chase the shorter ones……

    This may sound funny but i’m a person who’s still keeping my standard although i have inferiority thoughts….


    I think social media also play a big part in increasing my struggles, as social media mostly are all about other people’s achievements and happy life….



    I really like tracking my progress like this….. as i can see that i have made a lot of improvements till now…..



    in reply to: Any tips in how to solve communication problems? #401094

    Dear helcat,

    Thank you for wishing me a happy birthday ! Sorry for replying late…


    Yes i’m cherishing those memories on my uni days… right now i’m still adapting to adult life, which is adapting to a life where everyone has their own goals and friends are no longer a priority…

    I do celebrate the birthday with my close friends… although it’s only the three of them, and turns out they brought me a birthday cake and i blew the birthday candle with those guys beside me…..

    I really appreciate their effort and are really thankful that i can stil celebrate a birthday with my friends…..




    in reply to: Any tips in how to solve communication problems? #400920

    Dear anita,

    Thank you for the birthday poem !


    if I remember correctly, your uni friends didn’t send you cakes on your last birthday either. So, if I get it correctly, they sent you cakes when you were still attending uni together, but not since graduation, right?

    = Nope my uni friends did send me a cake after i graduate (so in 2020 and 2021 i receive cakes)… this is the first year i didnt receive any cake from them….


    Due to this situation, as you know how my brain works…

    I felt some sort of regret that i’ve invested so much time with those guys…. like if i find another group of friend in my uni days i could’ve had a different sort of friendship and maybe if i took that path i could even have a girlfriend now…

    Then i remember that i have social anxiety, and also i’m not confident with my body….. no wonder i befriend those group of friends…. because they accepted me… although in the end it ended up like this.

    I always had a mindset that the type of girl who’ll accept me is a girl who’s not confident on herself… that’s why she chose me….. But then i realize that this is a low self confidence thinking… and i need to develop more confidence in me…..

    I thought that i only can chase a girl who’s shorter than me……. and i’m too picky on choosing her face (it doesnt have to be pretty, but i have my own type)….

    Even now with a “more confident” mindset, i’m still not confident in chasing a girl who’s the same height as me…


    Also i need to engage in new activities (but my city doesnt offer lots of activities)… as in the last 2 years after graduating i havent met any “new” girls in town, so i dont know which girl to chase… At the same time, sometimes i feel comfortable being alone… watching tv in my room…. but i know i cant be like that, i need to go out an socialize as i wanna experience my first date.



    in reply to: Any tips in how to solve communication problems? #400881

    *continuation from my reply above*

    Should i stop dwelling on that kind of situation and start behaving more like an adult?

Viewing 15 posts - 241 through 255 (of 276 total)