Dear anita,

So your research states that scapular winging are not likely to be caused by poor sitting posture? Because due to my sitting posture i have a scoliosis, my guess is that this scapular winging is something that appears due to my scoliosis, as my backbone aren’t aligned. But thank goodness, it still can be fixed as from what i research on google, by doing several exercises. You can say that we’re on the same page for this one.. because i’ve found the solution for it, and i’m doing the exercise daily… hopefully there is a good result from this.

The irreversible one is the edge of my collarbone that pops out, which is called ac joint separation.. my separation isn’t severe, just a mild one as it only pops out a little. And from my research it states that it can’t be fixed unless i have surgery… this is the one that is hard to swallow. I’m trying to convince myself to accept the reality. But still this isn’t the final answer as i havent consult with a physiotherapist due to covid situation in my city… but i’m pretty sure my research is correct.

I just found out that the bump on my shoulder won’t go away unless i took a surgery to have them cut the bump, and i didnt want that. The recovery treatment without surgery is only to reduce any pain if i suffer from it. But in my case there isnt any pain, only a bump on the shoulder.

I’m feeling devastated right now as i’m going to live the rest of my life with that bump. I should’ve feel grateful of my appearance back then, now i did a mistake that is permanent. It’s hard for me to swallow this fact.

I feel like this is my punishment for not being grateful back then, but still this is too harsh on me.

Dear anita,

I would like it if you shared more about this regret, about the real or perceived past mistakes that you made, and the outcome…?

Tbh the physical issues in my body is created by my bad way of sitting posture, before this physical issues appears… i used to really hate my appearance (which is my facial features and my physical state) and i keep blaming myself for it. And therefore i didn’t provide any love for my body and didn’t try any method to improve myself. At that time i knew that my sitting posture is a bad habit but i feel lazy to fix it because i don’t have any love for my body and resulting into this physical issues. This is due to the envy i feel whenever i saw most people have better physical state and facial features, i keep comparing myself to them and i feel less.

The same goes to my regret back on my uni days (i’m working rn)… i feel so less of myself that i don’t take my courses seriously, well i never failed any module but my grades are bad and now i regret it. Every time there is a discussion about uni i’ll tend to avoid it because i don’t want people to know my poor grades. I also feel so devastated every time i saw someone posting their achievement in their uni days.

Right now as i’m older, i’ve matured in a lot of ways… if i have this current mindset i wouldn’t have done those mistakes in the past. Especially on my appearance as i can’t change it, i realize that life is much more than comparing myself to others… i used to thought that people might judge me, but the truth is people don’t care as they have their own lives to worry about. I just wished i notice this sooner.