Hi helcat, i think i’ve added you on imgur….

But isnt it weird if we talk in a chat room instead of posts like this?

Nope, what’s an imgur?

In your personal opinion, do u think i made a “fatal” mistake by posting on social media?

Also there’s another thing i’d like to discuss, this is one of the trigger of my anxiety….

I keep getting worried now that i’ve exposed our relationship on social media…. People who follows my social media have saw her appearance…. And i’m afraid lots of boys get attracted to her….. and could have thoughts that if this girl is single again they might want to chase her…. This is also one of my fears why i keep hesitating to post on social media, and also why i dont trust people….

It’s like this girl’s existence is hidden and people doesnt know, and i exposed it….. isnt it creating more problems….. All the safety i’ve been doing for the relationship might go to waste…..

It’s already too late for me to regret as i’ve already post it, i’m really really stressed right now….
The most painful anxiety is when i woke up, like i woke up in a worrying and regret state of mind…..

Dear helcat,

So yesterday’s valentine dinner went well…

Regarding the gifts – this is another case where your opinion matters more than mine. What you believe will provide relief.

Do you think you made a good choice with the gifts? It’s okay to brag a little here Perhaps this is something else to add to the list of what makes you a good boyfriend?

= On yesterday’s valentine, the gifts went well i put on the bracelet for her and she recorded when i put on for her…. She’s very happy with the bracelet…

But there is a wrong thing that i did, i gave her a handbag and i guess it was too much as only the bracelet is enough…. I was too insecure and not confident that’s why i gave 2 gifts…. Her reaction for the handbag was shocked as maybe she doesnt expect it and because it was a luxury handbag and maybe she thought i was doing too much for her….

I regret giving her the handbag yesterday, i shouldve give her on her birthday this year…. Because if i keep giving her gifts, she might think that i’ll “always” give her….. cause that’s human nature right? I dont want to spoil her with gifts…. I just gave her a luxury handbag, and idk if i still can give her something non luxury as a gift as it’d be “downgrade” isnt it?

I’m glad that being with your girlfriend has been a healing experience for you and you’re enjoying spending time with her in your city. I hope that getting to know someone who is kind and treats you well encourages you to meet more people who are also kind. That way you can build up a strong network of good friends.

Whilst you do have worries I notice that you are making good decisions for yourself. It’s great to see your confidence building. You are always welcome!

= yes i’m happy that i can make my own decisions, but still i expect yesterday would have no regrets as i make the perfect decision…. But turns out i was wrong on giving the handbag….

Also for the social media, yesterday i posted about our relationship…. And till now idk if it’s the right decision…. As yesterday i feel so worried that i have difficulties sleeping because of it….. Many people reacted to my post, they are shocked that im in a relationship now, and most of them gave a congratulations to me…. Idk how i should feel, all this time i didnt expose our relationship, and it felt so calm (idk if people understand what i meant here) as there is no people commenting and people dont know that me and her know each other… it’s like before i posted it feels like a village that is very calm and peaceful, now that i’ve posted it feels like a big city that is very crowded of people commenting about everything in the city….

And also i have trust issues, i dont trust when people congratulate me…. But as a formality i replied them with a thank you….

Also a lot of people that interacted with her know about me now…. And they could comment a lot about me…. With my weaknesses and appearance, there are lots of negative things that they can comment about me….
I even told her before i expose our relationship, cause now that a lot of people will know about our relationship… i dont want our relationship to get affected by other people because it’s our relationship….

It’s like i want our relationship to be safe, that’s why i want to keep protecting it…..

I’m really stressed now as i have difficulty sleeping yesterday, and also woke up few times because of overthinking…..

What do u think of my explanation in these thread? Do u have any opinions? U can give ur personal opinion too….

Really? I shouldnt worry about the bag? What if she’s expecting something more fancy? It is a possibility isnt it? Like its a human nature….

As for my friends who’s curious about our relationship, how do u think i should handle them? I want to ignore them, but i feel like i’d be so unpleasant to them if i do that, and i dont want to lose friends only because of this…. But i dont want them to keep the convo going and keep asking a lot….

So in ur opinion, with time everything will be less painful?

I’m a person that’s really not good in handling pressure like this…. Like i wanna make sure im safe but i also need to deal with the issue…. I’m a very safety person that’s why i feel worried if people keep asking me, i dont want my words to ruin the relationship….

Dear helcat,

Yes all people’s respond are good, it’s just that i have trust issues…. Because thats how people in general respond… and if there is some conflict in any relationship… they’d also comment badly about either person… that’s why i dont trust people….

No im not waiting for people to say something bad or judge me… but i feel like i just lose my freedom to feel relax….

I’m a person who fear to talk a lot as it could create a misunderstanding or gossips… that’s why i dont like it when people keep asking me how i know her….
Also there are people who’s not in a relationship but they like to gossip about other people’s relationship….

Do u think what im experiencing here is common? Or is it a bit of overreacting and overthinking?

Yes it must have been shocking to receive such gift…. The problem is i didnt think far, that if i give luxurious gift i need to maintain it every year…. And it could be tiring, moreover it could spoil her…. And i dont want that…. I should’ve think far ahead…. But at the same time i wanna show her i can provide…. It’s a very hard decision….

Well the anxiety is not all due to the date, some of it is due to “outside the date”… like the social media 😅